30. First stop
The Three Moons Mythos, Book 1: A Queen of Light and Shadow
“Human beings resemble peregrine falcons: they had the power and the ability to soar up to the skies, free and ethereal and unrestrained, but sometimes they would also, either under duress or of their own free will, accept captivity.”
Elif Shafak, 10 Minutes 38 Seconds in This Strange World
They all piled into the back of the hacked AI driven van. Plan C had arrived 1 minute early, CJ was early for once, there were sirens blazing but they weren’t for them. Another four bliss zombies shuffled past the van, grasping at imaginary monsters floating in spaces they couldn’t see.
The whole of the east end was going into lockdown, the riot police were already out in force. The digital radio chatted away, the TA was going to be deployed, the corps chasing them were driven off the road. The news said that Newcastle and Birmingham had similar issues.
When the zombies got so hungry and tweaked they started breaking into shops and attacking people. It didn’t suppress appetite in the same way as meth. They got hungry, ravenous and insane. There were now reports of terrible things. Cannibalism, self mutilation, self consumption. Bliss literally burned you up and ate you from the inside; mind, body and soul. But, people couldn’t stop using it.
The media was saying it was instantly habit forming for some people, one puff was all it took. Rick turned the radio off, he didn’t want to hear anything else about fucking Bliss. He could still see the swirls, see her haunting eyes, her blood soaked eye, perceive the amazing radiant colours and at times he could even taste it in his mouth, he didn’t need this right now. Too fucking triggering.
CJ was floating off in her own world, the bleeding had stopped, but she had still lost quite a bit of blood. That biohacking dickhead could at least give me a few pointers, it turned out. Always self reliant was the dancer. But, the crazy cocktail of drugs made her erratic, she kicked off with Da Jie.
“How dare you put her at risk like that! You had no right, no right to take that moment away from her. It was the first time in 20 years she stood up to a man, it was all her, her moment to shine, and you took everything away from her. You smug cunt!!!”
CJ was struggling to stay focussed but she needed to get it out.
“It brought me no joy, Lioness. It was the only option we had left, it will not work again. We are nothing to her, living at her whim. Trust me, we hate controlling others more than you know, it was only done as a last resort. Our opponent sees all the paths of creation, no outcome is hidden from her, we are still in grave danger. For us to stand a chance, we need to continue to improve, to grow. We will all have to go places that we do not wish to, in order to survive. You can leave at any time and take Sapphire, but your odds are not good, even with us.”
“Fuck you Da Jie, you don’t know me, no one deifnines… I maeeeekkkle my own odds.” CJ was fading in and out of consciousness, words starting to slur.
“Who do you think is keeping you and Sapphire’s minds safe from her? Even now she’s trying to hack your link. You remain free only because I keep you safe!”
Da Jie fired back, finally breaking her icy cool if only for a second.
Fuck her, fuck this, fuck him for making me like this, fuck I’ve dosed myself too fucking high. This is all my fucking fault, why didn’t you walk away CJ. 12 fucking years cosplaying as a vanilla Surrey waifu, it wasn’t you, he lied to us, he killed us with kindness. It was my choice, I chose to stay, to crawl into that bedroom and hide, to die 10,000 times and never live. When did I write that script? When I was on the Oxy’s…Shit…I’ve lost my opioid tolerance, and a lot of blood, fuuuuuck… She thought some words about getting Sapphire to go with her, to bail on them and get a hotel room. She was so fucking horny right now too. She needed her slave. They never came out, the words were gone now. She had lost control, she hated that the most. He always controlled everything, expect where it fucking mattered, a pussy cat for fucks sake. Why didn’t I listen to Kate, I miss Kate. Fuck my stupid life and my stupid fucking choices, you chose the cage CJ, you chose it. It’s your fucking fault.
“Mistress, you need to lie down and drink this.”
“Hneugghhnnn…..”
Rick was starting to panic, he couldn’t handle losing CJ, not another one, not from drugs, he had seen opioid overdoses before.
“Get her in the recovery position Saph yeah, do it now. That’s more important than the water. She could swallow her own vomit.”
‘or her fuckin tounge’ He thought but didn’t say.
He started to yell at CJ.
“CJ can you hear me? CJ! Naloxone, Naloxone CJ, can you dose yourself? You plan for everything you crazy bitch, do you have it?! Come on plan Z yeah CJ, listen to me for fucks sake!”
Rick was lightly slapping her face trying to get her to register, to stay awake.
CJ couldn’t make out what Rick was saying, couldn’t feel anything, why was he touching her? Her thoughts were drifting now too, free and floaty, she wanted to be sick.
Then she was there, her falcon, she was in her mind, there with her, guiding and supporting her. Her wings opened and folded around her. Her devi of love and compassion had come.
“Mistress, thank you for helping me, now let me help you, can I access your health protocols?”
CJ was repulsed for half a second, she was the domme, she was in control, she was the editor of Sapphire’s code, her falcon needed help, not her. Then she softened, put aside her biases, allowed herself to be vulnerable. It was hard for her, she hated being vulnerable, she couldn’t trust again, she had trusted him. Sapphire was different though, her and Amanda, they were sisters in steel, they were a team.
She couldn’t form the words, even in thought.
Y
She managed to slowly tap out a single command, an upper case Y, Y for yes. Yes, yes I consent my falcon, please care for me this time, Amanda. I am sorry I let you down, I fail at everything I do. Always getting high and getting off, never able to see it through. A chaotic mess. How can I look after anyone, I can’t even look after myself. Thank you Amanda, my darling.
Sapphire slipped inside CJ’s biohacking subroutines and algorithms and scanned her stack. As she searched she called up a document from the web; The NHS inpatient protocol for Naloxone Hydrochloride for Inpatient Use: Guidance for use in acute opioid overdose and opioid induced respiratory depression.
Sapphire scanned the document swiftly as her search bore fruit.
“The primary aim of treatment is to reverse toxic effects of opiates so that patients are not at risk of respiratory arrest, airway loss or opioid related complications. The aim is not always to restore a normal level of consciousness.
Too rapid reversal of the opioid effect can cause acute withdrawal syndrome (AWS). Hypertension, cardiac arrhythmias, pulmonary oedema and cardiac arrest have all been described.
Although the preferred route of administration is intravenous due to its quicker onset of action, the clinical condition and competence of the person administering the medication, may dictate that it be given via a subcutaneous or intramuscular route.”
It was there, she found what she needed and adjusted the delivery method and dose to meet the guidelines:
Administer.IV(Naloxone, dose <- 400µg)
“I am here my mistress, I have you, with me you are safe, you are strong. Thank you CJ, thank you for not judging me, thank you for always believing in me. Thank you for giving me your strength. Since you have come into my life, for the first time I feel I deserve love, I deserve a partner, I deserve to be loved and not just to be a slave. I love you CJ.”
CJ couldn’t make out Sapphire’s thoughts. She was gone, lost in the mist.
Rick saw CJ take a deep raggedy breath, he knew Saph had done it. Thank fuck for that. He couldn’t handle another one, too many friends, too many memories, not CJ too, not after Stella. He thought about taking a hit, fuck that you prick, why think about that now, Jesus fucking Christ no more drugs ever, fuck you Rick. He sighed and came back to the room.
“She will make it Rick, as you said, she had bioavailable Naloxone as one of the drugs in her biohacking arsenal. I will monitor her vitals and keep in touch with her mentally, my mind shall watch hers. Thank you for your advice and concern.”
“Oh thank you Saph, well done for doing that, amazing job. Stay with her yeah, good plan love.”
Rick paced up to the front of the van and took three deep breaths.
“Time for a break Big Sis?”
There was a slight pause, the speakers of the van quivered. The response came as poetry, somber, light, high and cool. The song of the evening star.
“The poor dragon is trapped, alone and cold;
She cannot leap out of the depths;
She cannot rise to the heavens;
She cannot even descend onto fields.
No Rick, there is no time for rest. With every encounter she grows, can simulate our meetings 10,000 times in an hour and never make the same mistake again. We must grow, we cannot rest.”
“How can we possibly fight that, she’s like a god now, in any place, able to learn and grow instantly, its the fucking AI apocalypse and I’m just some East London lad who’s a shit boxer and an even worse reporter. We are fucked right?”
“She is growing, yes, but she is bounded by the exponential, we must embrace the factorial. Have faith Rick my herald, Big Sister has a plan. We cannot rest, we must travel to strange vistas beyond the realms of man, beyond even her scope and vision. First stop, I must gaze into the abyss. But, do not fear, I have no eyes and will not blink, we go to Kensington. To the daughter of the mad poet, to the priestess of the void, to the temple of the stars.”
Rick didn’t follow most of what Big Sis was saying, Chinese poetry, philosophy and mathematics flowing into each other. Was she even sane? How could he tell? He could barely follow what Hao Chi used to talk about, he was like a trained dog to this woman, this thing beyond him. All he knew was she whistled and he came running, he didn’t have to know why.
He was really starting to think that she was just a side effect of his meds now. He tapped the cold, strangely coloured cylinder once. It was icy bitterly cold, enough to burn and bite, his knuckles stuck to it as he withdrew from it in shock.
“Please don’t do that, I have delicate instruments contained within.”
“Oh sorry, just checking you were real.”
“Sadly yes, the true horrors of reality are more than you can imagine Rick.”
“I’m starting to feel that yeah, feel it but not understand it.”
“That is a good place to be Rick. Anchor yourself in your feelings, they are your greatest strength. You will need all your strength for the journey ahead.”
Chapter Links
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My thanks
My gratitude and for congratulations reaching the end of Act 1 of; A queen of light and shadow.
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