My neon dancer
A queer cyberpunk romance
“My name is Cassandra Cain...and I am no oracle. I do not tell the future. I know the past. I see the now. Faces. Movements. Patterns. Nerves. Intentions. Mistakes. My sight is my prophecy, and my fists are my medium. I simply read the cards laid out before me...and I play my hand. I am Batgirl.”
Cassandra Cain, Batgirl
Dedication
This story is firstly dedicated to two amazing women I had the great pleasure of encountering in my life. Both brilliant in totally different ways, one the scientist the other the lover and artist. One I should have listened to and one I wish every day I had more time with, and that she had listened to me. I hope that I never loose people like this from my life again.
Secondly this tale is dedicated to my recovery and the recovery of people with dopamine dependent impulse control disorders (addicts, but I prefer a medical term) everywhere. To those of use that confused intensity with intimacy and in doing so, lost some of the most important people in our lives.
You are not powerless. Find your hope, find your power and find the love again.
You are worth it.
Prologue: Batgirl Begins
The moon is bright tonight, good maybe? She tightened the belt on her baggy jeans and shifted under the overlarge hockey jersey, sighed, locked the lab and started off.
Kate had been late in the lab again, it was a long trek, I mean she was always late in the lab, but on a Saturday night, again.
The city that never slept, everyone else was partying. Not Dr Kate Harper.
The only electric voodoo Kate had in her life were spin states and Q-bit calculations.
It won’t be like this forever, it’s academia Kate, young postdoc at NYU, it’s now or never.
It was the 3am walkback, she didn’t trust the subway, not after the last time. Besides her night hike up the Westside Highway was the only exercise she got these days.
Her leg was worse than ever too. The tingling spider-like crawling sensations were all the time now, she never sat down in the lab, standing desk and walking about. Restless leg they called it, more like my leg is fucking nest of unholy spider spawn, the walking helped, maybe. And, well that one other thing made it stop, for a bit, no girlfriend, not since undergrad, just more miserable lonely self care.
She was next to the part of the collapsed flyway they were sort of half rebuilding, and had been for years. Just coming up past the courts and the cages.
“Crack”
Huh, someone is still batting, at this hour. The cages stunk of weed, nothing unexpected there.
Then it fucking happened. Of course it did, huge full moon brought out all the monsters out seemed.
“Oh Tortillera! Hey Tortillera! Come play with us”
“You don’t know what you are missing marimacha.”
The second one was holding his crotch.
A chubby ginger cat was watching everything from the top of the batting cages, he seemed mildly interested in what was going on.
“Yes I’m gay ok, so you can all fuck off and leave me alone yeah! Waste of time, goodnight assholes.”
The brand new blonde Mohawk was a dead giveaway. Of course it was, it was fucking supposed to be, please ladies come and fuck me. It is long overdue. What is the next brilliant plan Kate? Carpentry classes? Instead the one masters student in the lab just calls you Cap’ now, Captain Marvel. Not exactly the effect you wanted.
They were still following her.
She picked up her pace, past the cages, striding on.
They were still closing.
One whistled and there was another coming up the other way.
‘Oh fuck. Oh fuck.’
Kate span around looking for another path.
Sprint across a 6 line highway?
‘Fuck.’
There was a small hole in the fence.
An eye, a glowing blue eye, vibrant and electric appeared at the hole for an instant.
There was a snarl from within the cage.
“Cant you see she’s with me guys. Time to fuck off. Before I get a real workout in.”
And then she was there, striding out from the cages, bat still in hand.
A tiny ball of energy and fury, wearing a form fitting tube top with baggy jeans, long lashes and heavy metal makeup, short hair with purple highlights on the black silky asian underneath, nose ring and all the ear piercingings, combat boots and spikes and studs on the collar and wrists.
CJ threw down a plastic bottle half full of the high strength Nutcracker homebrew street cocktail and threw the bat up in the air, letting it spin. She caught it and whipped it around her body before finishing with an anime style pose and a peace sign. She thought it looked fucking cool.
The three dudes all burst out laughing.
Kate was edging away, hoping this drunk and high by the smell of it, crazy chick would buy her enough time to get the hell out of here.
CJ lost her shit.
“Ok laugh it up fuckboys!”
And she charged right in, half running and half stumbling forward.
The lead guy stepped up and threw a clumsy hook.
She lent all the way back and a full whole body layback, and blew Kate a kiss as she was down there.
Then she was up, bat and hands held low as she danced around on her toes, slipping the shitty and slow punches that traced after her with ease.
She leaned back again and yawned. Followed by a turning rear horse kick, like a mule right into the lead attackers crotch.
As he fell towards her he caught an ankle as he went down and she stumbled back then fell. He crashed to the streets and his teeth crunched.
She landed smiling and posing with a full face grin at Kate, scooping up the discarded bottle and having another swig while on the floor. The drunken mistress.
Kate blushed and grinned back, what a fucking smile, it was infectious, it was like this manic metal pixie’s whole body was smiling.
As the next two guys closed in she did a kickstand and another peace sign.
The lead one wasn’t paying attention, he flicked his gaze back to Kate who cheered for her new heroine.
“Get em Batgirl!”
Should she clap? Kate had never even seen a fight before.
That was all the space CJ needed.
A running jumping start into a full 180 aerial with the whole weight of the bat and her body coming down, straight crashing down vertically.
He leaned back, just perfect, he didn’t read the angle and the full force of the drunken dancer landed directly over his chest.
He was driven straight down to the floor, the knockout came from the ground as his skull cracked hard against concrete.
CJ snarled at the last guy, eyes wide and wild, grin now fearsome like a stalking lioness. She tapped the bat twice on the floor, loudly.
“棍無兩聲” (“When using the pole don’t make two sounds.”)
She spat the classic kung fu phrase in Cantonese. Then flicked her hand past her nose.
The last latino gangsta had no idea what the fuck just happened and abandoned his hombres to the streets. Turned and ran, not looking back.
Kate’s jaw hit the floor and her leg had finally stopped twitching.
CJ threw down the bat. Walked over to Kate, grabbed her and pulled the taller blonde lady down to her level and kissed her hard.
“Oh you are gay right?”
“Ummmm yeah, I think every girl would be right now.”
“We should fuck, nothing like it after a fight.”
CJ grinned down at her new friend.
“Ok.”
Did you fall asleep at the lab again Kate? Don’t wake up, this one is the best ever.
They kissed again, longer and harder. Every part of Kate was melting.
Then CJ’s stomach growled loudly, really loudly.
“Ohhh maybe food first? I’m starving.”
“Ok sure thing, what do you want?”
“Lasagna. That would be awesome, I spent my last few bucks buying food for Mr Creampuff.”
She turned and made pspsps noises. The chubby ginger cat jumped down from the cage and wandered over rubbing up against both girls.
“He has to come too ok?”
“Ok sure.”
“Great! I will get my stuff!”
She half danced and half skipped away, before turning back and grinning again.
“Oh I’m CJ by the way.”
“I’m Kate.”
“Nice to meet you Kate. Back in a sec ok!”
“Ok”
Kate sighed and pinched her leg, the self soothing ritual now turned into a genuine reality check. She wasn’t dreaming.
‘Who are you and where have you been all my life, Batgirl.’
Manic Pixie Dream Days, Metal Mistress Nights
“Too many guys think I’m a concept, or I complete them, or I’m gonna make them alive. But I’m just a fucked-up girl who’s lookin’ for my own peace of mind; don’t assign me yours.”
Clementine, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
First night
“It's hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That's part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can't refuse anything and can't even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel.”
Cherise Sinclair
Kate fell off the bed.
Now both her legs were shaking for a different reason.
A head appeared at the edge of the bed grinning, grinning that massive face filling smile. Then a second later the head of a ginger cat appeared next to CJ. Mr Creampuff was also apparently concerned about Kate.
“You ok doll?”
“Oh, oh my God. It won’t stop. I can’t stand up.”
“Ha! What you never been fucked properly before?”
“Not.” Kate panted and gasped for breath. “Not like this. It’s amazing, you are amazing, but I need a break.”
CJ’s happy smirk mutated into something else, she was still smiling but her eyes grew wider and hungrier. She grabbed her belt and whipped it out from her discarded leather shorts.
“Oh you white bitches are all the same. I need a break. I have a headache. Blah, blah, blah. No more whining now, just do as you are told.”
She said as she placed the belt around Kate’s neck and tightened it. Mr Creampuff had seen enough and headed off.
Kate’s mind was racing. First she found a superhero kung fu fighting hot bi asian girlfriend and now she’s kinky as well, I mean of course she is right? Why wouldn’t she be? Dr Harper had watched videos, she had awkward chats at afterwork drinks, she had thought about it, but she had never. Am I a?
Her ADHD brain was racing but she didn’t have time to finish the thought.
“Kneel for me.”
Dr Kate Harper stopped thinking and knelt for the first time in her life.
CJ adjusted her position to the edge of the bed and opened her legs. Kate went straight in, no hesitation. Then suddenly the belt tightened and yanked her away.
“Did I say move? You do what I tell you to do now bitch.”
CJ’s eyes were huge and burning into her, the grin was wicked, feral. Kate nodded. For once there was nothing going on, no thinking about the lab, no maths, no rent payments, no grant proposals, no worries about her mother, she just nodded and listened.
“Good girl. Hands behind your back. You can start with my toes.”
The belt pulled her down all the way to the dancer’s toes, Kate’s hands still behind her back. She smelt them first, they smelt amazing, she shuddered and as the scent reached all the way into her brain, deep inside to somewhere primal and raw and her spine tingled in response.
“Lick. Slowly.”
It was going to be a long night for Dr Harper, the type of night she hadn’t even dared to dream of.
Got my eye on you
“Understanding vision and building visual systems is really understanding intelligence.”
Fei-Fei Li, the godmother of AI
Kate looked up from her laptop at CJ. She looked at her electric blue cyber eye.
“Hey, umm if it’s ok, can you tell me about the eye?”
“Oh yeah sure, I love my eye. I get terrible migraines.”
“Oh I’m sorry to hear that CJ.”
“Yeah, like really bad and often too and nothing really works. Well I mean some things work, some fun things, but they wanted to see if they could fix it.”
“Oh yeah?”
Kate didn’t want to know about the hard drugs, the drinking and the weed was fine, I mean, sort of, there was a lot of drinking. She had emptied her flat of booze in a week or so. There was always a cider or a wine or something on the go. Plus a joint rolled in the other hand - CJ could do it one handed and she liked to let you know - plus the cigarettes never seemed to stop either. Still, Kate didn’t mind the odd hit of a joint now and then and a drink or two after work on a Friday. CJ would probably dial it back a bit once she relaxed and settled down, when she was happy and comfortable, with me, with her doe eyed Dr girlfriend, with her porcelain doll. I mean we are already living together, ahhhh, her sexpet and best friend, hmmmm the dream. Once she knows she has me forever she will be happy, I know she gets anxious, that’s her way of dealing with it. I can help her. I can be her drug.
Dr Kate Harper’s ADHD brain already had the wedding dress picked out at this point, oh and CJs black suit and heavy metal makeup, oh my god, would I have a collar? Oh I couldn’t, not in front of people, that night though, ahhhhh our wedding night.
“Yeah so I got on this medical research program to like replace my optic nerve and yeah that went not great so they did the whole eye. Now I’m a fuckin cyborg! Cyber CJ!”
“It is fucking amazing. Can it do anything cool? Like superhuman?”
“What?! Don’t be silly girl. That’s just scifi shit.”
“Ummm no it’s not.”
“What?!”
Kate flipped her laptop around. It had the schematics and the codebase of CJ’s eye on screen.
“This is your one right, the ARGUS XII”
“Yeah?”
“So I checked the subreddits, this model is one of the best to jailbreak for AR and IR. Big community already doing it, totally safe.”
“What?! What’s AR and IR?”
“Yeah, I could go in there and get into the code of your eye, crack it open and add some extra software. AR is augmented reality.”
“Ah like those mobile games and shit. What was it? The Pokémon one.”
“Yeah that’s right. I could put your maps right up in your eye, your texts, WhatsApp, emails and calendar alerts, all that stuff.”
“No fuckin way! And what’s IR?”
“Infra Red.”
CJ stopped and stood up. She went to reach around into one of her two big duffle bags and picked up a well worn copy of Venom vs Predator and flicked it open to the page where the predator cycled through its vision modes. She waved it around proudly.
“Like, like the predator!!! You can make me like the predator??!!!!”
“Errrr yeah I suppose. Wouldn’t be the example I would use but yeah.”
“You have to do this for me! This is literally the coolest thing ever.”
“Ok sure thing.”
“We have the technology! We can rebuild her!”
“What?!”
“6 Million Dollar Man? Seriously Kate, as a kid did you not like watch any TV or read comics or watch cartoons?”
“I played soccer and ran around outside as a kid.”
“Of course you did you massive dyke.”
“Fuck off!!”
Good girls say please
"Submission is not in the bowing of heads or knees but in the humbling of your whole being.”
Anonymous female BDSM forum post
“Hey Cap! You are last in the lab for once. You ok?”
Ian the Masters student saluted sarcastically. But was also at least interested in what Kate was up to and her radically changed behaviour. No one else had noticed it seemed.
Kate yawned and smiled.
“Yeah. I’m, I’m amazing actually.”
She didn’t even really log on to her work emails. She just went straight on social media and started staring at pictures of CJ.
That smile. Every time she saw her smile in a photo she grinned like an idiot back, she couldn’t even control it. It was like an automatic reflex at this point.
Kate bailed at lunchtime and went back home.
CJ was smoking a cigarette with her legs up on the kitchen counter, glass of wine in hand fluttering her toes playfully.
“You made it all the way until lunchtime. I’m impressed.”
Kate blushed and stood there awkwardly for a moment.
“Ummmm hey yeah can we?”
CJ slowly put down the wine and cigarette and picked up the bat which was propped up next to her and tapped it loudly once on the kitchen floor.
“I’m sorry, maybe I didn’t hear you Kate. Good girls say please when they want something.”
Kate wasn’t used to this, it was incredible, but she was so nervous still.
“Please CJ, please.”
“Please what?!”
“Please fuck me, please tie me up and fuck me like last night. I need it.”
CJ waltzed over nearly dancing on her tip toes before lifting Kate’s chin with the bat.
“There we go. There she is. That’s my good girl.”
She said as she rotated the bat to horizontal and pressed it into the taller girls neck and up against the wall. Now Kate was the one up on her toes and eyes wide. CJ’s other hand slipped inside Kate’s jeans and started to circle slowly.
Kate closed her eyes, sighed and stopped thinking again. She had spent too much time in her life thinking. This was better, time for a change.
Lifestyles and laptops
“馬死落地行 (Maa5 Sei2 Lok6 Dei6 Hang4) To hit rock bottom and have to rely on oneself.”
Cantonese proverb
CJ and Mr Creampuff were watching Kate code, their postures nearly identical.
Kate had taken to working from home a lot. To clear her head and help with the restless leg. She was not as productive as she thought she was recently.
It was a simulation of a new type of quantum computer, based on Microsoft’s topoconductor research. She was working in Python with libraries that called and optimised the work in C++, also annoyingly she couldn’t avoid using some of Q# Microsoft’s shitty bespoke quantum coding language.
CJ was watching what she was doing intently. Even her joint discarded and forgotten about for a bit.
“Hmmm it’s like you are mostly writing Mandarin but sometimes slip into Cantonese slang. And this one is like French or something, totally different.”
“Wait, hold up. First up, that’s mad that you have any idea what I am doing and also how many languages do you speak?”
“Well obviously ‘Merican, Cantonese and Mandarin, plus the Guptas that had the takeaway next to ours spoke Hindi so I picked that up, oh and their grandma spoke Urdu so learned that too, pretty rusty now, learnt Spanish in school like everyone else obviously. I like French films so I learned that too.”
“Wait what!!! You’re a polyglot?!”
“Ummm naaah, like all my Indian languages are really basic and I never really speak French to anyone.”
Kate just put the laptop down and kissed CJ and held her head in both hands.
“You are so fucking amazing! You know that right?!”
“Shut up girl.”
“You have to boss me around in French tonight ok?”
CJ grinned, then pouted and took out a cigarette and waved it around nonchalantly.
“Tu es à moi, ma poupée de porcelaine.”
“I have no idea what you said but its fucking hot.”
“Oh I know. But, ummm seriously Kate, can you teach me to code?”
“Yeah sure. Of course. Here, scoot over, come sit with me. We can start right now.”
“Really?! That’s awesome, thanks Kate!”
CJ gave her a huge kiss on the cheek and sat down, bolt upright so happy, suddenly like a little kid back in school.
Kate paused for a moment. Trying to take this all in. It’s like there were five different whole people buried inside this one amazing person. How could she be so sexy and cool and also so cute and sweet as well? Dr Kate Harper was struggling to run her simulations, the models didn’t make sense.
“Ok I’m ready.”
“Sorry, just give me a second ok. I get overwhelmed by how perfect you are sometimes.”
“Shut up Kate, I’m just some flat chested, nerdy cornershop brat, I’m not special.”
Kate stopped and looked right at her.
“No CJ, you are fucking special. Don’t you dare talk about yourself like that to me. You are one of the most amazing people I have ever met and I went to one of the best universities in the world. Surrounded by people with PhDs and masters and they have nothing on you. You are so brilliant and funny and sexy and just incredible at everything, and, and you don’t even think you are amazing. But you really are, trust me.”
“No one ever told me that before.”
“They should have. And I will, every day ok?!”
“OK.”
“I’m going to buy you a laptop, ok? So you can work on the stuff I send you.”
“Really? Kate no, that’s, that’s too much. I can just use my phone or your one ok?”
“No, it’s done. I just did it.”
“How much was that?”
“I got you an upper midrange one, like 900 bucks.”
“Kate, you have to send that back ok. I’m not worth that, it’s too much.”
CJ started to cry. Only from the one eye of course.
“Hey, hey. What’s wrong?”
“You just bought it like it was nothing. No one, no one ever bought me something like that before. Kate, you have to return it ok. I always just used the ones at the library growing up, I can do that instead. Please send it back.”
“Now I definitely won’t.”
“Wont it break if I…”
“If you what?”
“If I have to go?”
Kate hugged her.
“You never have to go. You and the laptop are safe here ok. With me.”
“Ok.”
They cuddled and Kate felt the tears running down CJs face onto her. They didn’t say anything. But for the first time Kate really understood, really felt, how different their lives were. She would never let her go. She had found this amazing angel living on the streets, her diamond in the rough, CJ had danced into her life and saved her, now Kate would look after her too.
They just cuddled silently for 20 minutes.
Mr Creampuff jumped in to join too.
We have the technology, we can rebuild her?
“that tingling sensation - along with pain, burning, numbness, and other uncomfortable feelings - doesn’t go away.”
Symptoms of neuropathy, nerve death, Harvard medical school
Clean OCD clean, OCD clean, yes OCD clean.
“OCD is like having a bully stuck inside your head and nobody else can see it.”
Krissy McDermott
Kate pushed open the door and sighed loudly. She was exhausted. Another bar, more girlfriends to meet, they were lovely, but then CJ had suggested, well we talked about it anyway and she was cool. She never pressures me or anything, she really does everything, doesn’t she? So wild. I mean maybe? Like one day, if we really know them, I don’t know, no I don’t think so. Maybe? Then we were up all night, again, I mean not like I complained about that, I just do as I am told, her good girl, no complaints there. I’m so behind on this paper. Plus there is a conference poster I haven’t started yet. Kate sighed again. Then looked around. It was spotless, and smelt great.
“It’s, it’s so clean.”
“And tidy!”
“That’s amazing, thank you. That’s so nice of you, really.”
“Oh I wouldn’t call it that. It was freaking me out Kate! You always leave dishes in the sink, seriously you will get roaches or rats. It’s not cool. And, all your clothes were just in piles in the cupboards. The laundry wasn’t done, the beds needed stripping, especially after the waterworks from last…”
“Wait, you went through my clothes?”
“It was a mess! I organised them all by colour and errr style?”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Hey, I love your max white girl lesbian style. I like things in nice neat boxes Kate. Like your fucking lovely pink...”
“No! Not now.”
“Awwww, but I sorted out your messy house.”
“You went through all my stuff without asking.”
“Oh sorry. I was always the only one that like cleaned the shop. It ummm it really gets to me Kate, I can’t stop thinking about it. Mr Creampuff’s hairs were getting everywhere too. I needed to do it.”
“Just text me next time ok.”
“Ok sorry.”
Kate looked over at her desk, it was different. Not just the now neat piles of papers, notes and lists that only got looked at once, Mr Creampuff was also asleep on the mouse mat but, it was…
“You put all the cables from my desk in neat coloured ties. That’s adorable. And, are those?”
“Yeah I got some flowers too.”
Kate had actually never received flowers before.
“You bought me flowers? Ok, ok, you can fuck me however you want now.”
CJ ran up and pounced straight on Kate who wasn’t expecting it and fell over.
“OWWW!”
As CJ started biting Kate’s ear she looked over and noticed the two duffle bags were still full.
Still packed and still ready to go.
Absolution
“If it won’t turn heads in the street – don’t bother”
Torture Garden door policy
Kate could hear the heavy and dark industrial metal coming through already. They were in from outside, but queuing up for the cloakroom
Was this hot or just weird and gross? There are a lot of dudes here. Oh wow look at her tits, hmmm ok. I mean it’s super hot that she wants to go out with me, to show me off, she said that. Errrr, I don’t know. Oh her tattoos are fucking cool, oh my god am I doing this? Kate shifted uncomfortably in the clothes CJ had picked out for her under her trench coat.
“Hey girl! Hey long time no see!”
“Hey bro look it’s CJ! Hey party girl? How you bin? You rollin tonight?”
They all know her. All these guys. Errrr, I don’t like this, she’s not looking at me, she’s looking at them, she’s grinning at them, why is she grinning at them? She is looking at his fucking dick.
“CJ hey, can we talk?”
“Hey Mikey. Oh hey Ishan, how you bin bro?”
CJ looked down, titled her head and ran a hand through her hair, Ishan was already pleased to see her, he was huge she knew, she remembered, him and his two friends. Her grin grew and eyes bulged, like his leather trousers.
“CJ, I want to go.”
“Hey, Kate, chill yeah? We just got here babe. Get a drink in you, maybe half a pill or something, loosen you up a bit, you know.”
“No CJ, I want to go, NOW.”
Kate turned around and walked off, pulling the coat around her. This was a mistake, this was a fucking mistake. It is not fucking porn, its real life Kate, full of gross fucking nasty smelling guys and shes into it. She’s into it more than she’s into you. This was a fucking mistake.
CJ glanced back at Ishan one more time. Leaned over to him and ran her hand down his inner thigh and squeezed it, thick as fucking coke can. Then mouthed “call me” and ran off after Kate.
“Hey girl, wait up. It’s cool yeah, lets just go get some food you and me ok?”
Gainfully employed
"The only way out is through."
Robert Frost
“I can’t open it Kate.”
Kate had to open all CJ’s physical mail, even the junk mail. It was a trigger for her, from the shop. She was the only one that could read them, even as a kid. She had to open all the bills, the debt collectors letters, the loan agreements, the bailiffs letters, everything. She had to sit there and read them to Mama and Baba, with the dictionary on her lap looking up all the long words. Watching them start shouting at each other. Now she couldn’t do it at all.
“They won’t ever hire me. No way. It’s just another rejection letter. Or a bill or a fine. Now they all know where I live. I shouldn’t have registered an address, I hate it.”
She basically tore down a whole cigarette or 80% of it in one go.
“Hey, hey, it’s ok. It’s ok. I will open it, yeah?”
Kate was going to say deep breaths but saw that was already being taken care of, CJ style. She just rolled her eyes and opened the letter. Kate’s resting bitch face evaporated instantly.
“We are delighted to inform you that you have been accepted onto the IBM Tech Re-Entry Internship program. CJ! You got it! You got in babe!”
“Really?! No, I don’t believe it! Read it all. There is a catch, it’s a scam or something.”
CJ was pacing around and getting out another cigarette.
Kate lowered the letter, her leg spasmed again hard she grunted and tried to ignore it.
“It isn’t a scam. You applied, you wrote that amazing cover letter, telling them all about you, your language skills, the fact you basically ran a minimart and then a takeaway from age 8, you sent in your coding work, did the online tests, you did it. Just like me they saw how fucking amazing you are, they want you CJ, for the…”
Kate scanned the letter quickly.
“Huh, for the project management track. Cool, you get to boss people around, your favourite.”
Kate winked at her playfully trying to diffuse Cass’s anxiety a bit. CJ finally grabbed the letter out of Kate’s hands. The first one she had read in years. Her hands were shaking.
“I don’t believe it. Kate, I have a job, like a real job in an office.”
“Yeah you do babe, well done.”
“They will fire me when they meet me, or when they see the tats, I will have to do drug tests, they always do that, they will know, I wont fit in, I should just turn it down and get a job in a bar or something.”
Kate stood up slowly and swayed a bit, taking a moment to get the feeling back in the leg.
“I believe in you and so does IBM, one of the biggest tech firms in the world CJ. Try it ok, try it for me? Just be yourself and you will see.”
CJ finally accepted it, let it land. Her head was spinning. She was floating on a cloud and not one hit was needed.
“Kate I’m so happy, thank you, thank you, thank you so so much. I couldn’t have done it without you babe, you, you. You are the amazing one.”
She was still shaking and reading the letter over and over again. Her cyber eye scanning inhumanly quickly back and forth. Then she looked over at Kate and saw her rubbing and pinching her leg again. Saw her face, trying to smile but it twisted into a grimace. She folded the letter up carefully and put it down on Kate’s desk.
“Hey, how about a bath together, yeah? I can give your leg a rub. My precious pet needs to be looked after and fussed today.”
Kate stumbled a bit as she stepped forward and hugged CJ. They still hadn’t figured out what it was. But Kate knew, they were still running tests, they didn’t want to confirm anything yet, the second specialist was cautious, but this wasn’t restless leg, the symptoms were of nerve death. Kate had read the papers.
“Oh ok sure thanks babe.”
CJ helped her get to the bathroom, sometimes, on a bad day, even walking was getting hard now.
Ballet shoes
“BDSM is about dropping the pretenses; I want you completely exposed.”
Sierra Cartwright
Kate was sitting on the sofa with two laptops on the go. The box was next to her. She kept glancing down at it every 30 seconds, mind racing. She had kicked out Mr Creampuff, no perving dude. As soon as she heard the door she put both laptops away and turned the TV over to a classical music channel.
CJ waltzed in and was about to flop on the sofa but noticed the present.
“What’s this babe?”
Kate smiled to herself, time for her to have some fun for once. She was getting used to this whole kink thing now, the ideas were coming thick and fast and this one was a good one. Something neither would ever forget.
“It’s for you, just open it ok?”
“Really?!”
Her smile was completely face filling at this point, just the one Kate was hoping for, the one that filled the whole room, not just her face. CJ carefully undid the tie around the package and ran a finger nail down the inside of the seam where the tape was. CJ removed the wrapping paper slowly and folded it back on itself with utmost care, then gave Kate a kiss on the cheek before even looking at what was inside, as if the wrapping paper was also the present.
“Thank you, it’s such pretty paper.”
“Look inside you dork.”
CJ stopped stunned as she opened the box.
“Oh they are, beautiful Kate.”
She took them out and turned them over in her hands.
“I noticed your old ones were really worn out.
“Kate they are, Gaynor Minden. These are, Kate, no.”
“Shhhhhhh. Here, can I, can put them on you, please? Please mistress.”
Kate knelt down in front of CJ and gently took one foot in her hand and placed it upon her lap. She tucked her chin and extended both hands up palms together and waited. Waiting in supplication and service.
For once CJ was totally silent. And handed Kate the high end designer ballet shoes.
Kate gazed straight into her lover’s eyes as she gently caressed her feet, kissing each one lightly in turn. She had watched a video on how to lace them up about 100 times, so she didn’t break eye contact the whole time as she prepared her dancers feet, wrapped in silk and care, love and devotion.
CJ didn’t even blink, even as another single tear ran down her right cheek.
“Will mistress dance for me please?”
Kate bowed head to the floor as she asked.
As CJ rose and began her routine a wave of rolling cramps and tingling fire erupted across Kate’s legs. She gritted her teeth. She wanted to stay kneeling, to make this moment perfect.
It was agony, but she held the posture, for her, her dancer.
For CJ.
All I want!
“I believe that the attempt to make a thinking machine will help us greatly in finding out how we think ourselves.”
Alan Turning
CJ was texting Kate and was overloaded with energy.
“Ok, ok, do it! Call me on my eye! AH I cant believe I get to say that!”
“Ok ready. Everything looks good my end, no bug reports from the compiler, I will be live coding and running diagnostics. Going live in 3, 2, 1.”
Kate appeared in the bottom window of CJ’s vision, a pop up inside her real vision and importantly Kate also had a live feed of what CJ could see.
CJ waved and jumped up and down like an excited Japanese schoolgirl.
“Hiiiii Kate!!!!!!”
Kate sighed and waved back gently. Mr Creampuff was on Kate’s lap purring. That was also one of the things that helped with the leg, well nothing really stopped it anymore now, it just got worse and worse. It was also spreading.
“Yes, hi CJ.”
“This is so cool. Oh hi Mr Creampuff is there too, who is a good boy looking after your other mummy?”
He turned and looked at the screen, recognizing the voice.
“He can’t see you Cass, he can just see what you see.”
CJ made pspspsps noises and looked down at her fingers. He got up and headbutted the screen once, mashing the keyboard, before Kate picked him up and put him back down on her lap.
“Hmmm well I consider that a pretty good feline pressure test. No errors even after he mashed up my keyboard, again.”
“Nice!!”
“Ok I want to try something. I am sending my maps instructions straight to your AR display.”
CJ waited a second and then the route appeared with pointing arrows directly on her vision.
She grinned and started nodding her head, tapping her toes on the ground and bouncing loose and light.
“Oh this is so fucking sweet. Check this out...”
CJ started coding directly with her mind.
## Let me in bitch
if (Build.VERSION.SDK_INT >= Build.VERSION_CODES.O) {
keyguardManager.requestDismissKeyguard(activity, null)
} else {
window.addFlags(WindowManager.LayoutParams.FLAG_DISMISS_KEYGUARD)
}
“Hey CJ what are you doing?”
Kate was looking on curious, CJ had just unblocked her keyguard settings, basically letting her directly access the device to type on the pseudo phone interface Kate had developed for her eye. To type code directly into the Java app it seemed.
import com.CJify.android.appremote.api.ConnectionParams;
import com.CJify.android.appremote.api.Connector;
import com.CJify.android.appremote.api.CJifyAppRemote;
“CJ what are you doing? What is CJify? Wait, when did you learn Java?!”
## Yeah that’s my jam!
private val CLIENT_ID = “Batgirl”
private val REDIRECT_URI = “http://localhost:3000/callback”
private var CJifyAppRemote: CJifyAppRemote? = null
override fun onStart() {
super.onStart()
val connectionParams = ConnectionParams.Builder(CLIENT_ID)
.setRedirectUri(REDIRECT_URI)
.showAuthView(true)
.build()
CJifyAppRemote.connect(this, connectionParams, object : Connector.ConnectionListener {
override fun onConnected(appRemote: CJifyAppRemote) {
CJifyAppRemote = appRemote
connected() ## Kickout the jams!
}
override fun onFailure(throwable: Throwable) {
## No bugs biaaaatch!
}
})
}
private fun connected() {
## All I want! YA YA YA YA YA!!!
CJifyAppRemote!!.playerApi.play(”CJify:playlist:CRAZYTAXI)
}
override fun onStop() {
super.onStop()
CJifyAppRemote.disconnect(CJifyAppRemote)
}
“OKAY! Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!!!!! Day after day, your home life’s a wreck!”
Mr Creampuff jumped off Kate as her home speaker system kicked to life, connected to the laptop. The Offspring thundered in loud enough to hurt Kate’s ears.
“Jesus Christ!”
Kate jumped out of her skin, her leg screamed and she lunged for the laptop and mashed the volume control down ten times desperately.
It was also live and loud inside CJs inner ear and Batgirl was already running, sprinting and dancing, swinging around a lamppost like it was a stripper pole before leaping off and on to the first map location.
Her first crazy taxi stop.
She grabbed a random guys hand and dragged him along. Along for his taxi ride. Singing as she ran and danced.
“That’s all I want!
That’s all I want!
That’s all I want!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!!!”
The Library of Heaven’s Path (天唐图书馆)
“Only through destruction will there be rebirth! ... Your legs might be injured, but this has presented you with an opportunity.”
Zhang Xuan
CJ was slooping around the flat, she was bored, sober and had too much energy, which meant she was horny and going to bother Kate.
“What you watching?”
“MMA”
Kate was in a damn good mood today. The new painkillers, plus anti depressants, plus anti convulsants were doing the job it seemed. CJ had remarked she was jealous as she threw back her twice daily cocktail of pills, mainly because the new job had actually curtailed the worst of her class A bad habits. Kate’s master plan was working, she could tame her savage monstress and keep her just to herself. Plus, her grant proposal for her theoretical work on a new type of quantum cryptography had been accepted, huge funding and basically no expenses, the department chair was ecstatic, this was lectureship stuff. The swooning wedding night fantasy was back on the nightly rotation for Dr Harper.
“Huh cool, Katemaxxed on, hmmm three screens, nice! Scoot over. Oooh she is fire.”
CJ noticed a Thai lady who just ate two punches like it was nothing and fired back a killer double chopping leg kick before piling onto her opponent with vicious ground and pound. Batgirl was now copying the punches on a pillow.
“That’s Stamp Fairtex, probably one of the best female fighters on the planet.”
CJ sat bolt upright and snapped her head to the side and scowled.
“Hah! [in Cantonese] Do you believe you are my match?”
Kate replayed the Cantonese on laptop two and then translated it. Looking over at CJ with an eyebrow raised.
“You are kidding right?!”
CJ, pretending to stroke an imaginary beard and scowling even harder.
“[in Cantonese] Are you aware I kill at will?”
Kate looked on confused. Knowing this is another reference to something, probably an old kung fu flick.
“You know you are a massive bitch when you speak Cantonese right?”
“Oh we all are, like literally everyone, the whole language was developed to piss off mainlanders and now everyone else. Soooo many good swears.”
“I’m still confused.”
“Nevermind. So why into this all of a sudden?”
“You want the full Kate answer?”
“Ohhh I love the full Kate answers. Let me get a tea first, you want one?”
“Yeah that would be good actually.”
CJ fluttered off to the kitchen and put the kettle on and emerged a minute or so later with a pot and then scampered back in with two big sized Japanese mugs, the ones that warm your hands up when you cuddle the tea. It was a white tea, light and elegant, not too bitter. She had little fancy cakes too. Mr Creampuff was also ceremonially picked up and carefully deposited on Kate, completing the arrangement.
“More cakes? Really?”
CJ was already eating one on the way back in.
“Eurrrrgh.”
“Whatever. How do you stay so skinny eating all this junk?”
Just a shrug as another little Cantonese cream cake was being devoured.
“Anyway, as I was saying. 1)...”
“Oooh I love it when you do the numbers, feel like I’m watching one of Dr Harper’s lectures. You ever fuck one of your students?”
The CJ grin was switched back on, alongside with her girlvert thoughts.
“No. Gross; position of responsibility, age gap, eughhhh, no thank you.”
Another shrug.
“Anyway! As I was saying, again. 1) I became interested in your own crazy fighting style.”
“Oh thanks babe, pretty awesome right?”
“Yes it is fucking awesome and just so you, but its totally different to anything anyone else does. Ballet, baseball and is it wushu?”
“Yeah that’s my jam! More Wuxia than wushu, I never did any gong fu classes, just watched like 10,000 hours of Hong Kong classics and got in a lot of fights. Oh I used to practice the forms at the start of the really old movies too, in my room, just like dance class. Drunken fist! One armed boxer! Flying guillotine of death!! Snake in Eagle’s Shadow! CA CAWWWW!”
CJ hopped up, cake still in mouth, and stumbled around for a second drunken boxing style throwing a few punches with one hand still cupping her tea before slipping into a low snake stance and then spreading her arms like eagle wings and calling out.
“You are absolutely fucking mental and I love you.”
“Awwww you too babe.”
“But it is a miracle you aren’t dead.”
“What?! With these fists of fury. Which, you know you can’t get enough of.”
CJ leaned in and smiled right in Kate’s face, who grinned back for once.
“Yes the fisting is fucking incredible and I cant believe I ever was going to say that, but yes you convinced me.”
“I trained you bitch.”
CJ eyes hungry, about to pull away the laptop. It was now time for another Kate counter eye roll to deflect this attack.
“ANYWAY! 2) Your style has lots of gaps.”
“HUH! Kate, no offense but you haven’t even been in a fight.”
“Seriously but I am a massive nerd.”
“Yeah.”
“And I have been channeling like 20% of my brain into this, because I don’t want you to die.”
“Ok let me hear it Doc? What is the fatal flaw in my supreme ultimate fist?!”
She started off with a vertical kung fu punch and then turned it another type of fist and winked. Kate ignored it and pressed on.
“Firstly your boxing is shit. You never jab and bait out your opponent or feel them out. You dance and move great, your defence is awesome. You should learn boxing, western boxing, like Bruce Lee did and everyone does now.”
“Hmmm sure, I can watch…”
“I booked you a class.”
“Eurrrrr naaaaah.”
“Church Street boxing gym, I sent them videos of you. Reese Scott wants to meet you, she’s a former UFC lightweight champ and women’s golden gloves. For a private class.”
“Oh ok, sure! I mean I can give her some pointers yeah?”
“Fuck off! Don’t you dare joke about this shit.”
“I’m kidding, this is fucking cool Kate thanks.”
“Secondly your grappling is non-existent, no clinchwork or ground game. Someone who is good at jiu jitsu could seriously fuck you up.”
“Wait what number are we on?”
“Secondary list of section 2)”
“Kate! I am the mental one right?”
“Hmmmm not sure. Anyway, let’s start with boxing, yeah, one thing at a time.”
“That doesn’t sound like my Kate.”
“Indeed, on to 3) We can do more. As you know already your eye isn’t just your eye, vision is thinking, that’s why computer vision models are AI models.”
“Yeah I have wires in my brain! Cyber CJ is the real deal, the Major.”
“I don’t know who…”
“Moi gaa!! Kate! Ghost in the fucking shell?! I’m putting it on after.”
“Ok sure whatever. Anyway, another thing we could do is upload training data directly into your brain.”
“Oooooohhh, oooohh, ahem ‘Now, we’re supposed to start with these operation programs first, that’s major boring shit. Let’s do something a little more fun. How about combat training?’”
“Oh, wait, no, that feels familiar.”
“Let me help you out.”
CJ hopped up again and stood tall, face plain for once. Then turned for the second line and did Neo’s beckoning pose.
“I know kung fu. Show me.”
“Ah yes, the Matrix! Yes, we can do that!”
“NO. FUCKING. WAY!!!!!”
“Well yes, not exactly that. I can’t actually get you to grow those neurons and connections, that has to be done physically by doing the movements, brain and body are one system. What I can do is expose your mirror neurons, which I think in your case are fucking epic from years of dancing and just watching every kung fu film ever...”
“And porn film!”
“Eugh yes you massive perv. Can you be any more of a thirsty bi stereotype, seriously?”
“Hey coming from…”
“Ok, ok, anyway. We all have mirror neurons right, and we get like 20% of the effect of training stuff just by watching it. I can jack you in…”
Kate stopped looking on, looking for support.
“Is that right?”
CJ gave her a big kiss and boop on the nose. Kate smiled. Mr Creampuff was now unhappy and meowed once before heading off to the mouse-mat, he could read the room.
“Literally just lost your cyberpunk reference virginity, so proud!”
“Yeah nice, so I can jack you in and stream sped up content directly via your optic nerve like when you are asleep, or passed out.”
“Hey I have been good recently. In that department anyway.”
“Yeah recently you have, well done, and we can have you learn passively in your sleep.”
“[in Cantonese] I swear on my ancestors, I, Cassandra of the Jiao family, will master the Library of Heavens Path! (天唐图书馆)”
“Eugh god Cantonese really is a secret language, translate doesn’t even know what you are on about.”
“Heh!”
CJ slid onto the sofa and took Kate’s chin in her hand, tilting her neck up and kissed her on the throat as her hands ran up to her head and kneaded strongly. Kate was covered in tingles right away.
“You foreign devil cannot resist my seven deadly skills…”
Kate put the laptop away, defences finally defeated and lay back and opened her legs.
“OH! Use your most powerful techniques on me, great mistress of the heavens.”
“You are getting better at this!”
“I had a good teacher.”
Relationship malware
"Proprietary software tends to have malicious features... So you must consider every proprietary program as potential malware."
Richard Stallman
Inked
"The pain of getting inked gives me joy."
Yuzvendra Chahal
“You ok babe? So proud of you!”
Solid and sharp nod from Kate who was more than a little worried and uncomfortable.
Dr Harper was having a boron atom tattooed on her arm, looking like a central star, folding into a hexagonal boron nitride matrix (hBN), appearing as the galaxy of stars behind the single atom. All her cryptographic work used the new hBN machines, optically addressable spin qubits were essential for her algorithms to work, they needed to be stable for longer than the diamond nitrogen-vacancy systems could manage. This was her first tat and a celebration of her promotion to lecturer.
Kate always loved tattoos, good ones, meaningful ones.
CJ’s we so fucking sexy, like one of those brides of the Yakusa, my samurai woman, and yes Kate I know shes Chinese but the tat thing is Japanese and yes you have an Asian fetish and its Orientalism but it’s fucking hot ok. She is mental for white girls, white bitches Kate, you are her fucking bitch, eugh god its so wrong, its fine, its fine, what did she call it “raceplay”, so wrong, so hot, ahhh she has infected your brain with CJ smut. Anyway, so powerful and feminine and sexual, my fucking inked kunoichi warrior goddess, to tie me up every night and punish me. God Kate, focus seriously, oh I love touching her tats and gazing at them, asking about them, being told to kiss them, anyway, Kate come on focus, owww.
“You are doing great! Only another few hours to go!”
“Ok, owww, yeah, great, ooowww.”
“So anyway I was on this awesome subreddit.”
“I, owww, really shouldn’t have shown you Reddit.”
“Awww its the fucking best! All the cyber stuff, the biohacking, LGBTQ stuff, kink, oh la! Kate so much fucking kink!”
“Like you, owww, needed any more of that.”
“Always time for more gooning Kate, I am a woman of culture after all, priorities.”
CJ had learnt Japanese mainly for the hentai apparently. Kate didn’t even have time for another eye roll before she stopped again from the stabbing pain. CJ just carried on.
“Anyway, so yeah, nano tattoos Kate! Like, they put tiny robots in your skin and they respond to your thoughts and feelings. That is so fucking awesome. I made an appointment. Flowers that match my mood, so cool. Sold!”
“How much, oowwww, does that cost babe?”
Shrug in reply.
Kate sighed and flinched again. CJ had literally just got her first actual paying job, well ones that she had to pay taxes on anyway Kate did not want to know what she was doing for money before, and the house was full of boxes.
Flowers, the flowers were lovely admittedly, new outfits, ok you are crazy about all her outfits, fancy cakes and teas, every type of east Asian delivery food from NYC it seemed and of course a new mountain of sextoys. Oh god that one that was like a fucking jackhammer Kate, you nearly passed out, it was like having a fucking seizure, you didn’t stop spasming down there for like 10 minutes, all the while she’s there grinning at you. You said you wanted to be her drug you idiot, her sexdoll to experiment on. You got your, owww, wish.
CJ kept on talking as she flicked across Reddit pages on her AR display, legs up shoes off, lost in her little AR world.
“Oh and also there is this new peptide that makes your tendons thicker, that’s fucking sweet. Cassandra Jiao master of “sinew lengthening” (伸筋) and “tendon changing” (易筋), warrior of peerless might and beauty!”
“Peptides, what?! Owww. They mostly just sell them to people who work on rats CJ! Most of that is research level only, not for humans! Don’t start that shit. Owwww. We have no idea about the side effects, or drug interactions.”
“Uh huh, so might be a bit late for that. I’m emailing you my stack.”
“Babe! OWwwwww.”
“There is one that makes your clit bigger!”
Even the stoic tattoo artist looked up and shook their head and mouthed “what the fuck?!”.
“Gross!!!! OWWW.”
Kate was in for a long first tattoo session.
Class clown
"The fighter is born. He cannot be made."
Julio Cesar Chavez (107 - 6 - 2)
CJ was slipping this ladies’ punches easily as Kate dialed into her eye.
“Oh hey Kate! How are you? Look, check this out, I can share Mr Creampuffs collar cam.”
Another window popped open on CJs vision and also cloned itself to Kate’s third screen. She needed more screens to keep up with CJ these days. The cat was wandering around a court somewhere, chasing mice.
“Aww cute! Yeah good babe. Leg is so, so today, had another wobble in the kitchen. They are going to review the drugs again. Work is good. Oh, shit you are in your class? I can call again later.”
“Oh yeah, no worries I can talk.”
The lady, a 12-1-0 amateur, who was sparring CJ lost her shit and charged in throwing a wild three haymaker combination.
“You can fucking talk can you?! You chink cunt!”
CJ ducked under one hook, pivoted away from the body shot and then hit a huge layback to just dodge the huge overhand right. Kate saw it shoot straight past CJs field of vision, less than an inch from her eye.
“Oh one sec Kate, got some trash to take out.”
CJ sprung up on her toes and did a rapid, speedy shuffle step. Then sprung away and unloaded a triple jab. Each step and skip timed perfect. The hop, then skip step, the Ali dance of death. Each jab landed flush, for the final one she pivoted in the air and flurried, four loose hand clubbing almost slapping speedy hooks. The huge counter came in right as planned. One more bob and CJ weaved out of it pushing up from her feet, now rooting and getting her power from the ground, a double, no triple uppercut, the Inoue special, flawless. The monstress at work.
The hours of training data Kate was feeding her was working. Combined with CJs years of dancing, her incredible visual memory and the OCD she was the perfect vessel. Batgirl saw it, she felt it, she copied it and ran it on repeat in her brain obsessively getting every detail right. She was getting every last drop of the 20% mirror neuron efficiency.
“Time, time. CJ, stop she’s done.”
Reese Scott called it, as CJs third sparring partner collapsed in heap and spat out her mouth-guard panting.
Reece was impressed, nearly too fucking late on this round too. She could barely keep pace with this girl.
“Yeah she is.”
CJ leaned back on the ropes and relaxed and smirked. Reece had already clocked the cyber eye.
“Is that Kate on the line with you?”
“Yeah, say hi Reece.”
“Hey Kate, so yeah, thanks for sending this fucking psycho to my gym…”
CJ nodded and curtseyed once.
“Yeah you weren’t lying or AI generating those clips, she’s the single best natural talent I have ever seen.”
“Awwww thanks coach.”
“If she was a fucking natural that is. The eye, the smell...”
Kate glared at the monitor and yelled.
“CJ you are fucking high?!”
“Ahh just to take the edge off you know, I fight better a little buzzed babe.”
“It’s a work night CJ!”
“Ahhh just boxing class yeah, and just a bit babe.”
“Don’t babe me.”
Kate was already well passed a simmer. She had fucking promised.
Reece came back in to the half of the conversation she could hear.
“And probably other shit too by the way she moves and hits and…”
Reece admired every inch of CJ, lightly defined abs, toned and lithe, fucking smoking weed and trashing her girls, moves like Ali and Jesus what fucking babe as well. Just perfect, if I was 10 years younger.
“Those thighs.”
CJ couldn’t help herself even though she knew Kate was pissed. She leaned in and licked her lips in Reece’s face and winked.
“Thick thighs save lives coach!”
Kate was furious.
“Its not fucking funny CJ.”
“Its a little funny.”
“Anyway you two, she’s wasted here beating on natural girls, ruining my squads morale, but I know a gym they would take her.”
“Oh yeah?”
“You thought about the enhanced games killer?”
Kate typed in all caps “WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE FUCKING DRUGS WHEN YOU GET BACK!”
Then slammed her laptop shut.
CJ smirked a hungry predatory smile.
“Tell me.”
Weakest Link
“Boxing is a contest of character and ingenuity. The boxer with more will, determination, desire, and intelligence is always the one who comes out the victor.”
The late, the great, the only Cus D’Amato
It was late, no one else was left Church Street boxing gym was echoing with the pitter patter of dancing feet and now the fading snap of failing punches. Only CJ was left in the ring with Reece, hitting the mitts. Sweat dripped onto the canvas from both of them.
“Ah fuck this coach. How many more we got to do?
”
“You complain after you waltz in diva style late for a mitts session with me?! We go till I say stop killer. I said left hook!”
CJ threw another, half effort. Not much snap.
“Come on killer! Like you fuckin mean it girl!”
CJ snarled and threw again. No whip left.
“I’m done, I feel like my arm is about to get torn off here.”
“Take five ok.”
CJ slumped off outside and popped a cigarette. Reece followed her and smacked it out of her hand. The snarl formed right away, raised on the streets, CJ was about to kick off.
“You wanna go a few with me Cass? With a left hook like that? Best of fucking luck to you. Fight coming up soon, no smokes yeah?”
“Fine whatever.”
CJ was off in AR cyberland already, already onto something else.
Reece looked up and down CJ, she was sharp, fast, had aggression and could finish, she was an unholy ‘natural’ talent and enhanced up to her eyeballs, literally. But she didn’t have heart, not yet. She would cave when she took a beating, she had seen it before. This girl didn’t believe in it, she wasn’t fighting for anything except her ego and against her demons. She hadn’t paid the price yet in sweat and blood.
“Look Cass, shut the shit down in your eye and look at me yeah? I only go Madam Miyagi once for each fighter yeah. This is your moment so pay fucking attention yeah?”
CJ perked up, ears up like a cat, now curious.
“Teach me sensei.”
Came with a fake bow and an eyeroll and a wink, sarcastic Japanese teenage girl mode activated.
“Come here and look.”
Reece went back in the gym, over to a heavy bag. No gloves, she stood there for a second and then threw a prefect leaping left hook, lighting fast, no pullback, no loading, just static to go in one instant, like a pouncing tiger. It landed with a mighty crack and the bag shook, it didn’t swing, all the impact went in.
“That’s a fucking good punch coach, sure.”
“Why is mine better than yours?”
“I dunno, like you are faster and stronger?”
“No. You are twice as fast as me, better reflexes too, and with all the gear you are on…”
“Mostly peptides and SARMS, want to keep my feminine figure coach.”
“Whatever, I don’t know shit about that stuff, you’re probably stronger than me too. Definitely better conditioned.”
“So, like your technique is better?”
“Yes, but what does that mean?”
A shrug came as the only response.
“Look CJ, boxing taught me a few things about life. We only have like 4 punches, jab, cross, hook, uppercut…”
“Overhand, downercut, bodyshot and…”
Reece turned and yelled at CJ.
“Oh shut up you bossy little cunt! I’m not Kate yeah? I’m not one of your little dolls, don’t show off to me yeah, I don’t give a fuck Cass. Just fucking listen for once yeah? We only have a few punches, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Boxing isn’t about adding stuff. There is no more to add. Its not about more. More speed, more power, more moves. NO! Its about taking away, its about refinement, its about perfecting what you have, it’s about efficiency of movement.”
CJ did stop and listen to Sensei now.
“Your whole life CJ, you want more, more moves, more dance routines, more styles, more tats, more orgasms, more drugs, more partners, more versions of you, more cool shit for you to hide behind. Boxing doesn’t give a shit about your ego. You have to take what you have and make it yours, make it perfect. Less is more.”
CJ didn’t have anything to say.
“That’s why we do it over and over and over. My coach used to say boxing is like a chain, you are only as strong as your weakest link. Consistency and practice CJ, refinement and efficiency. One day you are going to fight someone more skilled, more strong and more talented than you. Only this…’
Reece gestured at the whole gym, all the bags, the mitts the kit.
“All of this, the fucking grind is going to save you. You get me?”
There was a long pause. Coaches punch had landed flush.
“Yeah coach. I get you. Sorry. Sorry for being a bitch and not taking it seriously.”
Cassandra Jiao did a little bow, slowly and non ironically for the first time in her life.
“I get it coach. Lets go again yeah, max effort. No more fucking around ok?”
“Good job killer. Left hook yeah?”
“Yeah”
SNAP!
“Again!”
CRACK!
“AGAIN!”
CRACK!
Fighting rings and broken things
The Quantum Crisis
“Quantum computers will be able to instantly break the encryption of sensitive data protected by today’s strongest security.”
Summary of quantum threats to RSA encryption.
There were no optimal solutions.
Kate’s mind was a million miles away. She couldn’t face the day to day reality of it, so the research was at last going great. Her inner world was her sanctuary.
There were no optimal solutions.
Dr Harper struggled into the room slowly and sat down at the front of her quantum computing masters group.
“Hello all, I am sorry I am late. My. My health problems have continued to deteriorate. Thank you all for your patience. I will need to teach this class seated today. I hope that you can all hear and see me. Move closer if you need to.”
The change was dramatic, dramatic like the void of space, dramatically empty. The spasms had gone, the twitching, sometimes even the pain as well.
Now it was just dead.
Dead weight, pins and needles sometimes, heat sometimes, but mostly just nothing.
She laid out the coding framework and some of the most common approaches to a basic single qubit calculator using QisKit as she had done many times before. This was like driving a car for Dr Harper and she was lost in her own thoughts, her own research was on her mind.
There were no optimal solutions.
There were none, all could be cracked, all she or anyone else could do was buy time.
Some of her algorithms did something, using rapid pattern switching, it was a game you could play, sure, but a game of might makes right, a bigger machine would still blast through.
At the limit they all broke down.
There were no optimal solutions.
It was over, not today, but soon, all digital security was finished.
Dr Harper had the proof finished last night.
She looked down at her failing body. Kate had thrown the stick in the bin and the crutches had not been used either. There was only one place this was going.
There were no optimal solutions.
She had checked it five times. She was scared to send it to the group. Scared that she was right.
Scared to talk to the mobility consultant again. Scared to even think it.
Kate had started writing her book at long last.
Wheelchair.
She had the title finally.
“The Quantum Crisis.”
There were no optimal solutions.
Dr Harper shifted in her seat and used her arms to move the one leg that had started to go numb. She continued her lecture.
Clash in class
“A master’s tie binds the body, but his spirit touches the soul of his captive.”
Shibari academy, referencing and unknown Hojojutsu master
CJ had come in today to help pick up Kate, she had brought the crutches, fished out from the bin again, fresh new rainbow pride and a Watchman sticker, just in case. It was getting harder and harder for Kate to get around by herself.
She poked her head in Kate’s lab, she wasn’t there.
Ian smiled and waved back enthusiastically. He got a wink and finger gun.
“Hey dude, you know where Kate is?”
“Yeah she is meeting Prof Tillman, he needs to sign something, I think she went to his class.”
“What a lecture?”
“Nah he teaches martial arts or something at one of the Uni clubs. It’s in Rec Hall 2, I can show…”
“Nahh that’s cool, I got it.” CJ had already found the location on the internal map of NYU and dropped it into her AR overlay. “Peace out dude.”
CJ stalked off to find Kate.
One of the other postdocs took their headphones off and turned around to look at Ian.
“Is that Dr Harper’s?”
“Yeah that’s her girlfriend.”
“What a fucking baddie!”
“Yeah I know right?! Go cap!”
Kate had finally reached the back of the hall. It had taken her nearly 30 minutes to get there, she had to stop twice. She gritted her teeth, leaned against the wall and pushed on, finding a place to sit at the back.
He was mid flow. She thought he taught sword stuff, this looked more like one of CJ’s play sessions?
“In hojojutsu, you seize the individual and bind them with rope. But, each component of the art is precise, seizing, binding and controlling. Each term used was chosen by the pioneers of the art in order to express the feeling, intention, or purpose for its development. And, intent is the most important skill of all. Hojojutsus is about dominance, it is about control, it cannot be faked. Micheal, if you please.”
There was a young skinny male student that lunged for him. The professor stepped effortlessly to the side, breaking his balance with an ankle slide and seizing the wrist, the grip was strong, the angle of the wrist and elbow was broken all at once. Flawless, textbook technique.
The door creaked open and CJ poked a head in. Eyes lit up and she grinned, padding her way over to Kate. Who she also seized, a playful stroke of the hand turned into a wrist lock, which twisted and turned to lift her body up, rising pressure, just slightly, enough to raise her chest and tilt her chin up. CJ held her there for a long second, deep eye contact. Kate gasped.
The boy hit the deck hard and the air went out of him, he gasped. Professor Tillman’s knee was on his chest, he stood tall and he pulled both hands down hard, the rope flashed and spun, the arms were bound in second, single knee mount transitioned to the knees upon the bound arms. The boy grunted in pain, his eyes wide, in awe.
CJ twisted Kate up and against the wall, wrist lock turning to shoulder, pushing her up to her toes. Her legs were trembling but she no longer felt it, CJ had her, she only felt her mistress’s power now. And CJ brought her other hand up to her throat and squeezed lightly, enough for Kate to feel it, the lioness playing with her prey, she bit Kate’s ear hard and whispered.
“Sitting in on kink workshops without me? You horny little bitch, I will have to punish you later.”
Then she spun Kate around like they were dancing, releasing the hold and kissed her gently and slowly.
“Missed you too.”
Kate mumbled as all of the CJ dopamine and oxytocin flooded her brain all at once. Fuck, my girlfreind is so fucking hot. Eugh, not here CJ, not at the university. Like I can stop her. Eugh, God everything she does is amazing. I’m fucking melting.
Nearly everyone was distracted by Prof Tillman’s rapid and full tie. Which he completed mid lecture. The Professor was in his element, full flow, complete control, total dominance of both the ecstatic boy and his entire class.
“Western analysts have often written things such as “In combat, these ropes and fabrics served as makeshift weapons or as a last, seemingly feeble, attachment to life.” linking the art to the growth of Do forms, such as Judo and Iado, the skills for the preservation of life, of a milder, more civilised and weaker time…”
He pulled the ropes tight, too tight, the boy gasped again and the rough rice straw ropes bit flesh. The keenly observant could see the bruising forming already, the blood flow restricted.
“Wrong! Fools in lecture halls don’t understand the art! This is justu just a lethal as any sword. I can kill Micheal here at my mercy. Cut any bloodflow, snap any bone or crush his airflow. He is mine, total submission.”
His eyes blazed and Micheal gazed back, lip trembling.
“And here lies the essence of Hojojutsu class. It is not a gentle way, it is the way of dominance. You choose to use a rope instead of a blade. Why? Because your opponent is nothing to you! A toy, an object, a slave. You are the master, their life is in your hands. Remember this always, in your heart and hara. We are done for today. Practice your four basic ties before the next class.”
Kate finally pulled away and gasped for air.
“I need…” She took another deep breath mainly to clear her head, it was spinning, full of CJ degeneracy, what was she going to do to me later, fuck. “I need...”
“Take your time.”
The Lioness smiled back, fangs and ego showing.
“I need to talk to this guy, get him to sign a form. Then, then I’m all yours, ok?”
“Ok lovely, go do your thing. I can wait.”
The professor had actually silently walked his way over to join the ladies. He had surprised even CJ. Who flinched and had her fur ruffled a little. No one normally crept up on The Lioness.
“Evening Dr Harper, and who is your skillful friend?”
The professor had been the only one to notice the other supplementary session in his class.
“Hi dude, I’m CJ. Nice work there, the ankle sweep was killer and this is kinky as shit. Love it.”
“Well, it is more of an art form dear. Not just handcuffs and zipties.”
CJ’s eyes flashed and half a snarl formed. Zipties were exactly tonight’s plan, she wanted it rough, fast and nasty today. Then she turned it to a grin.
“刀ではなくそれを振るう手である Katana dewa naku Sore o furuu te de aru (It is not the katana, but the hands that wield it.)”
Came back the flawless reply in modern Japanese. Kate was so embarrassed and her head was flicking back between the two of them, what was this about? Are they fighting? The Professor smiled as well and his eyes lit up.
“Oh, maybe I was wrong, maybe, but still, I prefer the original “刀に善悪はない。ただ、それを振るう者の習熟度を明らかにするだけである (The blade has no virtue and no vice. It only reveals the mastery of the man who wields it.)” Musashi.”
They both just stood there smiling at each other for a long second. Before Kate jumped in to cut through the tension.
“Ok ummmm great. Glad you guys hit it off. Can I get you to sign this grant proposal Peter? Then we can get out of your way.”
“Sure.”
They both stood there staring at each other, a battle of wills, while he quickly signed the paper. Eyes trained on CJ the whole time.
“See you around CJ.”
No reply back. Just half a nod.
In a few moments CJ helped Kate to the crutches and they were making their way out of the building.
“Are you quite done with your clit/dick measuring contest? I work with that guy.”
“Ha. What happens when a femme dom meets a guy dom darling. Plus, I fucking hate him. He is a creep, and he was pushing things too far with a beginner. Just to show off.”
It hit Kate all at once, he is also a… Oh, dude, you still don’t have the CJ vision, such a naive little farmgirl still sometimes Kate seriously. Also girl, showing off, you mean the CJ special? Seriously CJ do you even…
CJ nearly totalled a ciggy in one go and exhaled, letting the tension out of her, with a billowing cloud of smoke, flicking it aside with effortless non chalant cool girl charm, seeming to almost dance down the hallway, movements slow and rhythmic, petite and lithe, effortless and cool, always the dancer. Her movements hypnotic, crashing Kate’s train of thought.
“Anyway doll. Shouldn’t let one little prick ruin our night. He was right about the zip ties at least. Let’s get you home and looked after properly yeah?”
The grin flashed one more time and Kate swallowed hard, eyes following her girlfriends flow. Just like that CJ had her under her spell again.
“Yes ma’am!”
CJ grinned again and pirouetted, hands coiling and fluttering, spinning on her toes then gliding over to help Kate walk to the metro station.
K1 Rules
“They shall have such tactics, strategies and machines that no foe will best them in battle. They are my bulwark against the Terror. They are the Defenders of Humanity. They are my Space Marines...and they shall know no fear.”
The Emperor of Mankind describes the creation of his superhuman soldiers, his space marines.
“Good evening ladies and gentlemen! We are live from Las Vegas! This is one of the big ones folks. The women’s featherweight K1 kickboxing grand prix has finally come to the enhanced games!!!”
“And what a line up it has been!
“That’s right Amy, it feels like a whole new era of fight sports, blown wide open again like the early...”
“Like the early UFC, exactly Mike!”
“We have traditional Thai fighters like Fahsai “Heavens Knee” Saengkaew, who are just using biohacking to enhance their recovery and training.”
“She is looking in killer shape, she went through five rounds earlier this year like it was two.”
“But Amy, that didn’t save her against Viktoriya “The Terminator” Sokolov did it?!”
“No Mike it did not, that right hook shattered her eye socket, a brutal KO. Sitting down and going through “The Terminators” stack took our analysts two sessions, all up on the Enhanced Games Youtube feed folks! Wrestling, sambo, powerlifting and bodybuilding and now one of the most aggressive cuts I have ever seen. What does she walk around at normally?”
“Insta was saying over 70kg, that’s at least a 12kg watercut, three times the natural girls! And she was strong after. Insane!”
“She was saying that actually having the female hormones mixed in the profile allows them to retain and drop the water easier, as well as bone density and recovery improvements.”
“The ladies are taking us to places we didn’t think we would ever go.”
“Speaking of, we also have the cybers!”
“Yeah, whilst metallic striking and blocking surfaces are currently prohibited.”
“But we are working on a fully cyber division! Stay posted folks! Check out Enhanced.com for the blog and all our updates, the sponsors are pouring in, join the future of fighting today!”
“Indeed! We do allow mental and visual mods as well as internal organ replacements.”
“Our home grown hero! The kung fu dancer, Cassandra “The Lioness” Jiao is our best matrix girl so far.”
“She has a lecturer from NYU in quantum cryptography who is also her girlfriend in her corner doing her mods! Camera, zoom in the brains behind the Lioness, there she is folks, front row!”
Kate looked up sheepishly and waved, Reece ran over and punched her in the arm before doing metal horns and roaring at the camera. Inside Kate was both a nervous wreck and totally in awe of her dancer.
“So awesome to see, the Lioness has her Pride it seems.”
“Ha good one Amy, enhanced games a proud LGBTQF+ organisation of course. Yes, our very own matrix girl danced past Zarah “The Axe” Fiorot with ease.”
“That’s right, the savate fighter looked out of her depth against the Lioness. She couldn’t land a single kick and CJ’s jab was flush for three rounds. An easy points win for the dancer, who gave us Ali shuffles, taunts and flurries to boot.”
“Her philly shell looked Money Mayweather perfect too, those rollback counter crosses were. Oh Amy, chefs kiss.”
“Couldn’t agree more Mike. So what do we think about this show down? Our homegrown streetfighting cyber dancer versus the Russian terminator?”
“I mean Rocky 4 has nothing on the women’s enhanced games am I right?!”
There was a roar from the crowd.
“Of course we have to go with our NYC streetfighter, but all the bookies have Viktoriya as a huge favourite. Size, strength and track record all in her favour.”
“Lets go to the ring now folks! The ladies are starting their walk ins!”
Shotgun Senorita by Blue Stahli started up. Then a devastating lioness roar erupted on the big screen followed by CJs logo.
The short blonde hair, the fighting shorts and tiny top, all tats out. The crowd was cheering her name.
“CJ! CJ! CJ! CJ!”
Her ego and her grin couldn’t get any bigger right now.
Nothing
“Nerve damage can directly cause a loss of sexual desire. Additionally, the frustration, anxiety, and depression caused by physical changes (like loss of sensation or dysfunction) can indirectly lead to a significant drop in libido.”
Sexual dysfunction due to pudendal neuralgia: a systematic review (2012) Translational Andrology and Urology
“I want to stop.”
A curious but still bruised - “The Terminator” had smashed CJ around the ring for two rounds before Reece threw in the towel and ended CJs fighting career - face popped up from between Kate’s legs, licked her lips and then paused. The grin vanished instantly.
“Hey yeah, ummm, you ok? You seem off today babe.”
“No, I want to stop.”
“You want a cuddle?”
“No.”
“You want to talk about it Kate?”
“No.”
Kate pulled her leg over CJ with visible effort and rolled over, tears streaming down her face.
She couldn’t feel anything. Nothing, dead to the world. Dead to her goddesses skillful touch. It had spread, spread to down there. She buried her head in the pillow.
Kate’s mind was going a million miles an hour. But the thought kept coming back over and over.
She will leave you.
You are broken.
It’s all she thinks about.
It is over.
Thrown away like a broken toy.
She will leave you.
You are broken.
“Ummmm ok, I’m going to get a tea ok? You want one?”
“No.”
CJ got up and turned back for a second, reaching out towards Kate’s back. She stopped, her hand hanging in the air. Unable to connect.
Then she turned away and went to light a cigarette.
Kate didn’t make any sounds as she cried by herself into the pillow.
Mr Creampuff followed CJ out of the bedroom, hoping for a snack.
A fallen oracle
Final Fight
“I’m stronger AND hotter than you. You can’t compete.”
Poison, win pose line from Street Fighter
CJ’s dealer was late and she was pissed.
Now there were three droogs picking on a trans girl right in front of her. The Lioness hadn’t had a fight or a fuck in a while, and cracked her neck and bore her teeth. CJ needed to let off some steam.
“I think you better leave Poison alone there fellas? You ok doll?”
“Oh, I am ok, obrigadinha (cute female thank you in Brazilian Portuguese).”
“Ha, doll. This one is packing bigger than me you little goth bitch.”
The lead guy leaned in and grabbed the lady’s crotch. She was obviously uncomfortable and looked around nervously, today’s compensated date had not gone to plan. The other two guys laughed.
“Oh I am so fucking glad you said that. Oh really I am. I’ve been having problems at home, with the girlfriend, you know how it is fellas, and oh wow, I am a happy girl today, you made my day. Fighting is almost as fun as fucking.”
“Hey, hey, don’t I know you?”
One of the background droogs was playing with his phone.
“Oh ha! It’s “The Lioness” the one that got totalled by that Russian chick.”
“This one here is more chick than that Russian monster ha!”
CJ stepped forward, snarled and sized up the first guy, scanning him, echo() ran - her and Kate’s new project - and picked an optimal attack path, she paused for a second and then literally pounced on him.
“What the fuck!”
The dancer landed, grabbed on and span around him, an around the world rockabilly spin, turned into a throw, pulling him down to the floor hard and landing on top. Full mount. She started to rain down punches, his hands came up, echo() flagged it and she shifted to elbows. One went through and cut his face wide open, his guard dropped in shock as he felt flesh separate. The next one went straight to the skull which she battered down hard to the pavement. He was done.
“Meu Deus!”
“Ok well fuck this! Ummm yeah, so shes a pro fighter and I am fucking out of here guys.”
Both the other guys turned and walked off.
She stood up slowly and walked over to the trans lady.
“I hope you don’t mind me crashing your date doll?”
“Oh, oh is ok. Babaca pau pequeno (He was a small dicked jerk). No fun anyway.”
“You need a walk back home doll?”
“Sure ok, Adorei seu estilo. Você é muito forte!” (I love your style. You are very strong!”)
She made a front double biceps pose and smiled at CJ sweetly.
“Oh doll, compliments will get you everywhere. I can show you where I get my hair done if you like?”
“Que legal! (Oh cool!)”
CJ smiled and sent the recording back to Kate. Along with a message.
“Test run of echo(), all good! I hope you are ok today babe. Text me yeah? I miss you, I miss us. XXX”
She sighed and linked arms with her new galpal.
Reddit hole
“majority of men are probably paedophiles and hebephiles” and “paedophilic interest is normal and natural in human males”.
Philip Tromovitch, presentation on the “prevalence of paedophilia”, a pro paedophile researcher based in Japan, just one of many to attend a UK based pro paedophile conference in Cambridge. Including Tom O’Carroll, the former head of the Paedophile Information Exchange (PIE) and a convicted sex offender. He wrote on his blog after: “It was a rare few days when I could feel relatively popular!”
[This is real and disgusting, the Lioness needs a suitably awful target.]
She had helped Kate get into University today to teach her classes and would go to pick her up later. They had barely said three sentences to each other on the way in. There was that weird creepy professor there to greet Kate again, he made my skin crawl that guy. CJ had been around enough bad shit to get the ick vibes, the creepy dude at a kink event, the guy who took things too far and men with genuinely evil tastes, The Lionesses hair was up.
Kate didn’t see it, but she’s like locked in her own world these days. The only thing I can get her talking about is her book, which admittedly, is pretty cool, her big brain is so fucking sexy.
She sighed and flicked over to another Reddit page, oh more drama from the ladies enhanced games, she opened the video. Let’s take a look shall we…
“Look, the cybers get their tricks and hacks, the “ladies” get to blast as much gear as they want, it’s only fair that us furry fighters get to use our natural weapons too! That’s what all the fans want to see! Transgenomic rights!!! My team will be appealing this decision. The Iron Wolf will return!”
Luna - beautiful black and steel grey fur styled perfectly - howled at the camera and grinned showing off her fangs. Her Onlyfans and Insta were blowing up with all the attention, the Iron Wolf might not be back in the ring, she had other projects.
“Ohhh tough break for Luna “Iron Wolf” a mid ranked female furry fighter who has been banned again for biting, six month suspension this time.”
“I mean a black belt in BJJ already, you wouldn’t think she would need to tear open her opponent’s throat with her submission skills. She is out of control.”
“Our analysts are saying it’s almost impossible for them to resist in the heat of the moment Amy, the instincts take over. Like having a knife in your pocket the whole fight and not being able to use it. Especially when the other lady started headbutting her in the clinch.”
“The butting did happen first and Evandra “The Dealbreaker” Jackson was warned twice and had a point deducted. I disagree, it’s the same as any other illegal move, yeah she has a few wolf and dog genes but she’s a human fighter the same as any other girl out there, they cant bite or do small joint manipulation or throw downwards elbows on the ground, it’s basic safety stuff here Mike.”
“You make a good point Amy, we want to open up the sport to more styles and greater human performance, of all kinds, but we also want to keep athletes safe.”
“Exactly Mike, biting the throat is not a PR stunt for views! That’s a lethal move. Luna needs to muzzle herself before she gets back in the ring.”
“Whoa Amy, ummm, anyway, the views of our commentators do not reflect those of the Enhanced Games which remains a proud LBGTQF+ ally.”
The feed went dead and CJ scanned over to another Reddit page. She took a long slow hit on a joint. It was one of the milder strains with more CBD, her Reddit and chill blend.
CJ was “working from home” today, which meant she had already cum three times so far, the big black toy was right next to her, ready to go. She had guys texting her, she had one she hadn’t deleted, she should do it, just left archived, only a blink away at any point.
She deleted the text.
Kate wasn’t pulling her up on the drugs either, they barely talked now. She thought about popping something, or more porn, then sighed and closed the tabs down. What are you doing CJ? What’s the solution to this? She won’t talk to you about it. What can you do girl?
She opened up some more Reddit pages, conspiracy stuff, CJ loved a good theory.
A new species of supercolonial ant is destroying the rainforest, yawn. The Technological Democratic Republic of China is secretly ruled by evil AI’s, yeah? Sounds legit. America is on the brink of a new civil war, ummm that’s not even a conspiracy, the truckers riots have entered their third week, Google is sending in drones to support the army. Eat it cyberphobic bigots. Earthquakes at the Pacific Point of Inaccessibility are caused by a massive kaiju, ha! Sweet! Oh they have Google satellite images of it? Hmmmm, pretty fuzzy. Next…
Oh there are funding links from the Epstein files that haven’t been traced yet, the endless rabbit hole, back to NYU, the physics department, noooo. She started digging, there was more, lots more. Then an image came up.
It was him, the creepy professor, at a conference on what?! “Danger and difference: the stakes of hebephilia” [That was a real talk done at Cambridge], no way that’s a real thing, is that allowed? What?!
Hes a physics professor, its not research on victims or anything, this is a fucking academic pedophile ring! Shit!
She got up and was about to text Kate.
No. No. Sober up first. Then read it again. Then text her.
She will just get mad and say you are fucking high and paranoid…again.
CJ sat back down, paused for two seconds then started reading it all again and took another hit.
Ahhhh I’ve got to text her…
Porcelain Doll
“I am a kaleidoscope of hope and dreams and wonder in the shape of a girl. I am not a porcelain doll. I am not empty. I am worthy. I am enough.”
Ashley Poston
Kate struggled up from her desk. She was thirsty and overdue for her meds. She had another fight with CJ, she shouldn’t be so mad at her all the time. Its the meds maybe, they made her thirsty all the time and it’s not like they really did anything anyway. When CJ wasn’t here she often didn’t get up all day. It was painful. Painful to do and painful to think about.
CJ had left the crutches and the stick out by her desk. Retrieved from the bin again, left with a fresh smiley post-it note and new rainbow flag stickers.
Kate ignored them and shuffled on, it was bad today. She needed to get a fresh cup of water. Then on to the bathroom for more of the endless tablets.
She had already finished a bottle of water and a thermos of two blended green teas with honey, lemon and ginger, home made CJ ice tea. They had all been finished with morning rounds. It was sweet. She was showing she cared, doing little jobs around the house and looking after her still. But it wasn’t working.
They hadn’t fucked in three weeks. Kate froze up when she touched her, she hated it, why? Why?! Anything but this! CJ was everything she wanted, she is being so sweet and understanding too, why this?! Now she was ashamed to even cuddle her. When her warrior angel went to touch her legs she flinched now.
It’s not you CJ it’s me, I am no good anymore. I am broken.
She could hear CJ playing with herself; at night, in the shower, on the sofa, all the damn time, with the toys, and the porn. She strips the beds and cleans up, her body language is different, mechanical, she doesn’t want me to see. She had seen. The porn. It was disgusting. There were two men. She doesn’t want you anymore Kate.
Kate reached up to the cupboard and took out a mug. She wobbled and one leg partly gave out. She grabbed the counter top and steadied herself. Deep breath.
She turned.
And fell.
Crack. Smash.
Dr Harper lay on the floor, a trickle of blood forming a small pool.
Japanese tea mug, the ones that warm your hands up when you cuddle them, smashed to pieces around and over her.
She twitched once and didn’t get up.
Mr Creampuff came in, meowed once and carefully stepped over the smashed porcelain and curled up on Kate’s legs. He started to purr.
CJ pushed through the door, she was a bit buzzed, rolled a small one as she left the office, then a few after work drinks, plus had swiped two of Kate’s pain pills earlier, dropped those too, that new boy had been flirting with her again, the good looking rich HK boy, a good boy who wanted his baddie waifu, not likely buddy. Then had picked up some ket too from her dealer, for the weekend, great for a big solo play session. Based on how things were going with Kate, CJ’s solution was mong out and don’t think about it, at least for now.
“Hey babe I’m back! After work drinks went a bit long.”
No answer.
“Babe?! You didn’t pick up my calls or texts? You ok?”
There was a meow from the kitchen.
“Kate?! KATE!!!!”
Chick magnet
“What we are is only a stepping stone to what we can become.”
Transhumanist reflection
It had gotten so much worse since the fall. Since the hospital trips. Since the chair.
‘Please pick up Kate. Please. Come on.’
CJ was pacing back and forth inside the barn. It had taken ages and cost a fortune to get here, to get everything sorted for today, she had checked and triple checked everything, even come earlier to test the internet connection. Alex came over and waved, smiling supportively.
“We are ready when you are CJ yeah, just let us know.”
Kate finally picked up after the third time trying. She had seen the calls going in. She just couldn’t face CJ or anyone. She had thrown another copy of Birds of Prey, issue 21 this time, in the bin, another CJ present to show how cool Barbra Gordon was even in a wheelchair. Life isn’t a fucking comic book CJ.
“Hey yeah, what’s up CJ?”
“I have something I wanted to show you.”
“I’m busy Cass, I’ve got work to do.”
That was all Kate did now.
“Just a few minutes please lovely. I promise it’s worth it.”
“Ok sure.”
“Ok ok guys she’s ready.”
“What is this Cass?”
“Come and meet this little guy.”
“Hi there Kate, CJ tells me you can see what is going on via her eye. I’m Alex and this is Archimedes. He’s a Northern Saw-whet Owl. You can hold him CJ yeah that’s good, like that, awesome. Ah he likes you, he’s a well behaved little guy.”
Alex was holding an adorable small brown and white owl. Small, less than 20 cm tall with huge eyes, but otherwise a fairly drab brown and white mottled colour palette. It was about the same size as a robin, not a big bird at all. He made a little tooting sound as he settled on CJ’s glove.
“CJ I said I didn’t want to go out to this thing with you. Look its sweet but I’m just not…”
“Ok guys do the thing!”
They turned off all the lights, for a second it was pitch black, blackout black and then CJ ran predator.2(). Her vision flickered for a second before switching over to the UV spectrum. The room was dark, maybe a few flickers of dark blues and greens, not much to see. Then CJ turned to look at Archimedes, as if on cue, he ruffled his feathers and spread his wings.
Kate stopped flicking between her other screens and focussed all her attention on what was happening. She couldn’t look away. CJ still had that effect on her.
“He’s a little raver Kate! Look pink!”
The porphyrin pigments in Archimedes wings glowed brilliant pink and magenta, colours no human eye could see, until now. Beautiful, powerful and brilliant, colours from a different world. A world CJ now shared with Kate.
“He’s so beautiful Cass.”
“Yeah he is. He knows it too. Look at him all fluffed up like a boss. You are sooo pretty!!! You are the prettiest boy at the club!”
“Hey, that’s really cool of you.”
“It’s not just that Kate, I mean we have lots more feathery friends to meet today but the thing I wanted to say to you is. You aren’t locked in or locked away Kate. You aren’t any less of you. You saved me, you gave me all this, my life back, you helped build me, coding in my brain and eye. You and me, we have a connection that is something no one else can even imagine. I was a shadow of who I could be without you Kate. I promise no matter what, my sight is your sight, my vision is your vision, anywhere I go, you are with me Kate. I won’t leave you Kate, I see you. I love you and I see you. You are my Oracle.”
Dr Harper did not often cry, and when it happened she hated others to see. Now tears streamed down her face openly and she sobbed down the line.
“Oh Cass. I’m so sorry Cass. This is so beautiful. You are so sweet. I hate myself, I hate this, I hate the fucking chair, I hate that I cant do anything anymore. I have been running away and hiding. I love you CJ. I want to come, I have been a jerk, a massive jerk, stay there OK. Don’t go anywhere, even if it takes me all day ok, I want to come, I want to be with you CJ. I’m so so sorry. Thank you so much Cass, I love you too. I just, I hate myself right now. I’m sorry…”
“I know Kate, it’s ok. I have been there, yeah? Trust me I know. Take your time lovely and stay on the line! Lets say hi to some of the birds together yeah?”
“Ok sure, thanks Cass. This is the sweetest thing ever.”
“Not as sweet as this little neon loverboy, seriously Archimedes buddy, you must slay with the chicks? Right little man?”
Archimedes gave another ruffled look and turned his head to the side, Alex helping spread out his wings to show the full brilliant glowing spread of neon pinks and purples under his flight feathers. He was rather enjoying all the attention it seemed.
Kate grinned, tears rolling down her face, but a full face filling grin, the first one she had had in months. CJ could see it in her picture in picture AR vision.
“Ah there she is. There is my good girl.”
Kate was still crying, thinking of wheeling herself away, but unable to look away from the screen either. Too many emotions all at once, Dr Harpers code was crashing.
“She’s still in there Cass. Thank you, thank you, for helping me find her.”
CJ grinned back and sighed. Achemdes started pruning his lovely UV feathers rather proudly, taking care of each radiant quill in turn.
He let out another happy toot.
Mr Creampuff jumped up onto Kate’s desk all fluffed up and attacked the screen before falling off the desk with a crash and scurrying off embarrassed.
Kate and CJ shared a laugh.
Again, the first one in months.
Gnothi Seauton (Know thyself)
“Tell the king, the fair-wrought house has fallen. No shelter has Apollo, nor sacred laurel leaves; The fountains now are silent; the voice is stilled.”
— The final recorded prophecy of the Oracle at Delphi, 4th century AD.
Kate was outside Professor Tilburn’s office. She had cloned a copy of his card, the security here, not exactly a match for a Senior Lecturer in quantum cryptography. She had emailed the dean twice, he had ignored her, she didn’t give enough of a shit to do Feynman and break every lock open on campus, even though CJ had begged her to do it. They would have got on, she pondered, dream dinner guests. Still, just one lock needed opening today, if CJ was right.
She took a deep breath and looked around twice. Then scanned the card.
BEEP. CLICK.
She wheeled herself in.
This is fucking crazy, why do you listen to your crazy, amazing, beautiful, wild, sexy - dear sweet lady science she’s soo fucking sexy - and keeps coming up with things for us to do that don’t involve my legs, she so great, why do you listen to your goddess and mistress girlfriend all the time Kate? Well you answered your own question didn’t you Dr Harper, you date a kinky manic pixie and then you act surprised when she does mental shit. Fuck, just leave, turn around and wheel yourself out now, its just the weed again, she’s dropped down another Reddit hole and now she is dragging you with her. Ah, but he is fucking weird. Super weird, and he is always asking about your condition. You thought it was nice, but he’s creeping on your injury. CJ knows bad shit when she see’s it Kate, she’s got street smarts, oh and the style, and everything, ahhh focus. But yes, she’s on to something. OK, OK, OK! You are already here!
Let’s do this.
She looked around the room. He had an old PC stack, buried at the back, but still plugged in, no dust, ha. That’s it. That’s where it would be, not a university machine. Off the local network. And, yes, perfect for a physical hack. If I can get round to the back.
Kate was trembling. Her hands were shaking as she took the little USB stick, a fragment of a stick really. Tiny, so you wouldn’t notice at a glance. If she could get it into a rear port, the machine, and anything it was connected to was hers. She dragged herself along the floor, pulling her useless legs. Hands trembling. There was one free port.
She thought she heard something. Fuck.
It’s the wrong way up. It’s always the fucking wrong way up!!! Every time!
She flipped it and tried again. Still wrong!
It’s like an entangled spin state on this fucking USB drive, spinning every way you don’t want every time you check.
Schrodinger’s USB port! FUCK!
CLICK.
It went in.
She pulled herself back to the chair panting and tried to drag herself up.
The door opened. She froze. Then turned.
“Oh hey Cap?! You ok?”
It was Ian the masters student, smiling nervously. Thank fuck for that.
“Oh yeah, ummm, Ian, sorry I left something in Prof Tilburn’s office and the door was open, then I fell when I went to get it.”
“Oh hey Cap no problem, you need a hand?”
“Yeah thanks Ian.”
He rushed in and helped her back to her chair. And helped push her out of the office. The door closed.
CLICK. Job done.
“You know you don’t have to keep calling me that yeah? It’s been over a year Ian. Kate is fine.”
“But, ummm, you are a fucking superhero though Dr Harper, to me at least.”
Kate stopped wheeling the chair and turned to look at Ian.
“Why?”
“Dr Harper, my Dad lost his legs in a fracking accident, he had nerve death and everything. Sorry if this is a bit personal but he never came back the same. He hit the drink and pills, never worked again. He was a shadow of who he was after that accident, he, well my mother left too, I don’t blame her. You, I saw you fight it, you never missed a day, saw you swearing at the crutches and then push through it, like my old man never did. I saw how hard it was for you, I know how painful that shit is, how it destroys people. I started calling you Cap as a fun joke because of the hair and the gay thing, but, seriously, you are a hero, to me at least. I was thinking of quitting this project, a load of times, I struggle with the math. But seeing you coming in, teaching, legs shaking, gritting your teeth, still getting it done. Like, you inspired me not to give up.”
She stopped wheeling the chair and looked right at him. She had been teaching and tutoring Ian for over a year now. He was a hard working kid and conscientious and she hadn’t noticed anything about him.
She was trapped in her own Kate and CJ world.
“Ian, first, thank you for saying that and for noticing. You can call me Cap ok? I appreciate it. Thank you. Secondly, sorry, I have been dropping the ball on you here. I didn’t even notice how you were getting on, I need to step up as supervisor. Thanks for saying that and thanks for noticing.”
“You want a hug?”
“I’m not much of a hugger Ian.”
“Oh ok, cool, no worries, sorry.”
She turned and started wheeling herself down the hall and then stopped again. This stuff didn’t come easy to Dr Harper.
“Oh Ian, you should have talked to me if you were having problems, yeah? And, thank you Ian, it hasn’t been easy. We all have ways of dealing with stuff in our lives, I’m sorry about your Dad and how he dealt with it. My way is work.”
“It’s a good one Dr Harper, better than drink or drugs yeah?”
“Yeah Ian, thank you, I think so anyway. Come on, I have some time now. You can wheel me back to my office. Also you picked like the hardest project in this cohort as well dude. Quantum graph neural network optimisation. That’s like some Xi et al level stuff there.”
Ian’s face lit up as she mentioned the name.
“Ah she is such a babe! I saw her at QIP giving the keynote with her two AI’s. Everyone was in awe. She’s like a tiny beautiful Chinese AI rockstar.”
“Yeah I hear she has that effect on people. Also she’s like nearly twice your age! No girls in the physics department Ian?”
Ian stopped and looked at her with a confused face.
“Hmmm, actually yeah, Biology department is next door, that was where I met my undergrad girlfriend. Go to one of their mixers dude.”
“Well you know! Seriously the chick that comes to pick you up. Main character energy alt baddie Dr Harper! Respect!”
“Ok, boundaries Ian, lets get back into the project work yeah?”
She did grin to herself as he carried on pushing her to her office though.
‘Yeah she is.’
The birds of prey
“Wait for a hero? Be your own damn hero”.
Barbra Gordon as Oracle, Birds of Prey
CJ threw her cigarette down on the floor, and picked up the bat again. The cages hadn’t cleared her head, just warmed her up. She strode off and messaged Kate.
“I’m going. We emailed, we called. No one is coming for those kids. It’s on us, on me.”
“Don’t do it CJ! You are just one woman, you aren’t a fucking superhero. Don’t go in alone.”
“Not yet Kate. Not yet. Stay on my feed Oracle, Batgirl has work to do.”
‘Fuck, fuck!’
Kate hurled herself into her chair and wheeled herself out of the bedroom and to her desk. She threw another laptop on the stack and plugged it into the small dock of Mac Minis, her mini server farm. The fans booted up and Mr Creampuff jumped up to his new favourite spot. It got really warm up there.
“I still hate the fucking wheelchair. I haven’t got used to you calling me that. Besides Cass, it’s not done yet. You don’t have enough working memory in your eye or brain to run it.”
“Tough break Oracle, if I’m Batgirl, that’s you now, I don’t write the comics yeah?”
Kate just ignored her and started turning on screens and opening windows. She texted Reece too, just in case this actually fucking happened.
“I need more time to get it online Cass.”
“Those kids don’t have time Kate. I’m on my way, sharing my tracking details babe.”
CJ fired up her maps and shared the route and her visuals, AR display loading. Kate checked her installer progress, the GPU cluster built out of Mac Minis was hard at work, whirring away.
Installer(Cassandra.Cain()) Progress = 32%
Bethlem Steel had a smaller fabrication and cutting centre for coiled steel, it had all shut down 20 years ago, a brownfield trashsite, yet to be sold off. Now rented to this gang of paedophiles, the survivors, the rats that had slipped the net.
“OK I have something Cass. The building is old as shit but the sickos renting it have some modern tech. Their building management software is cloud based, it’s a basic package, weak security.”
Kate found the details online, weak encryption - by her standards anyway - combined with off the shelf legacy protocols. Easy money for Dr Harper.
“I’m in.”
CJ smiled a wicked grin.
“Sorry I always wanted to say this! This is a bat family line. AHEM...”
CJ adjusted her voice to super gravelly.
“So what’s the the play Oracle?”
Kate rolled her eyes and played along for once. She does always make me smile.
“Well Batgirl, you fight great in the dark right? Lights out and IR on?”
CJ played the predator noise “k-k-k-k-kckckck” and laughed.
“Fear clears the mind Oracle, it clears the mind.”
Installer(Cassandra.Cain()) Progress = 37%
The rat king
“Offenders use encrypted platforms and the dark web to exchange CSAM and normalize behavior. A notable example is Matthew Falder, a former University of Birmingham researcher who ran a sadistic online abuse network.”
2022 Guardian report on Academic Peadophile Networks
They were all agitated.
There was a report to NYPD, two actually, with an email and evidence. There was a fucking leak somewhere.
“Are the fuzz gunna come?”
“No man chill, we have a guy in the mayors office, right doc?”
“Oh yes, don’t worry, it’s all taken care of. We will need one of the filipino boys though. Not the one with the injured leg, I want a word with that one later, one of the others.”
“Ah ok cool, cool, sure thing doc.”
A light went out in the hallway. Only one person moved.
“Go check that.”
“Its just a dodgy light doc.”
Prof Tilburn picked up a laptop just as all the power went out.
“GO NOW IDIOT!”
Prof Tilburn started checking security logs.
Kate had masked everything. She was the ghost inside his machines.
But he knew something was wrong, you didn’t last this long, get so far, hide so well without developing a sense for these things. There should be something, an error log, something. It is clean, too clean. Plus the call. Who?
He glanced over at his kit bag, full set of iaido and hojōjutsu equipment, plus his play bag concealed within, ropes, drugs and tools. The professor had many hidden talents.
All the lights went out next. Plus the locks.
The others were racing around turning on lights on phones, shouting. Trying to find torches. Racing to the entrances and the main hall, and to their precious cargo.
The Professor calmly strode over and found a switch on the wall, ignoring everyone else.
He fired up a generator and turned to hit the last bit of the mill that was still working. It slowly began to shudder and move, groaning and screeching, it would conceal any sounds and the old security lighting flickered to life. Red lights. In this room anyway.
The first scream was loud and sudden.
Shots fired. Silence.
Then another scream.
He took a deep breath. The children can wait. He kneeled down slowly and precisely, opening his bag. He paused, looked at the rope for a long second.
There was yet another scream.
No.
Then calmly withdrew his bokken, the Professor was fourth dan, an elite level master of the art, his weapon was hand crafted in Miyakonojo, Kyushu made of blood red hon biwa (Japanese loquat), both supple and strong.
It had tasted blood and bone before.
He remained kneeling in seiza.
Breathing focussed, mind alert.
Vision trained on the door.
The Pythia
“We know the number of the sand and the measure of the sea;
We understand the speech of the dumb and hear the voiceless!”
The Triad of Oracles proclamation to Croesus of Lydia
Kate had figured out a hack, of course she had.
Cassandra.Cain() was up and running, running local on the stack of Mac Minis, then firing off results live and taking in the streaming visual data from CJ, compressed and Fourier transformed, just the signal, not the actual visual data, good enough. The flat was heating up and whirring, really loud, hardware pushed to the max, Kate needed more fans to keep it cool. She was sweating buckets.
Mr Creampuff was purring loudly, he was happy at least.
More screams and clacks through the feed from CJ’s eye. A skull split open, a kneecap smashed, all in blazing IR reds, yellows and oranges. Kate was looking on in horror. Ive created a fucking killbot, my girlfriend is an actual killing machine…
“CJ! CJ! Don’t hunt alone! Don’t do this, just let me call the cops. CJ!!! CJ!!!!! FUCK!”
She fucking cut my feed, my crazy sexy cyborg killbot waifu cut my feed…
Shit! Shit this is really going down! Fuck, this crazy. She actually thinks she is a fucking superhero. FUCK!
Another WhatsApp to Reece got fired off.
“Reece, come get me! We need to get over there now! CJ has gone into another fight, a big one, real bad guys, really bad shit. She needs help.”
Instant response this time.
“On my way Kate. Fucking hell you know how pick them. 20mins to you OK, leaving now yeah?”
Dr Harper had another plan though.
Ignore one call, one email sure. No problem, corruption or just fucking lazyniess in the NYPD, nothing new there. But ignore this…
She started coding, hard and fast, smashing keys violently and pulling in chunks of code from her own repositories and Stack Exchange.
Automated call bots, yeah. Here we go. Lets clone say 100 of them, calling every ten minutes, yup, with randomly generated numbers, use Dilaxy’s open sourced code as the base, yup, not secure enough though, routed through a darkweb server, maybe Shadowcat has something I can use, yeah, good. Ok, scripting, AI text generation, with some repeated patterns and push the heat variable right up, lots of randomness, yeah, there we go. Oh and let’s have them call the papers too shall we yeah? VICE would run this shit for sure. If even 10% go in, they cant fucking ignore this. Yeah, cooking with gas now. OK, Ok, ignore this! AH! Wait! Hold up…this is a crime Kate, and actual crime, isn’t it? I mean it’s not fraud is it? It is actually happening? Ahhhh Fuck this crazy!
She Googled it quickly.
Ok maybe wasting police time, but its not fraud, ok, quick change, less of the heat variable, all got to be the truth, no lies, don’t fucking hallucinate you callbot bitches! Maybe add in some testing and checking, another bot to filter and train them, set up an agential management system ahhh…OK fuck it no time!
She stopped again, mind racing. It was nearly done. A few more lines and checks.
CJ needs help, those kids, those kids, street kids and low income kids, lured by the promise of social media stardom, picked up by fucking perverts, fuck. Groomed and all managed by that freak who, who has been wheeling you around the lab, asking about your pain and your symptoms, disgusting. What has he been doing to them Kate?! Fucking men, disgusting. They need our help, those kids, you claim to be fucking liberal Kate, pride flag and bleeding heart, bleed for them, stand up for the defenceless, that’s what it was all about. That’s what it was always fucking about! No one else is coming, Kate. CJ is right. No one else is coming. They need us.
She paused for another half a second. Finger hovering over the enter key.
Fuck it! OK Oracle, Cap, you got this, this is the right call Kate.
She smashed the enter key hard.
GO!
Reece texted again.
“Five minutes Kate, nearly there yeah, hang on.”
Lady Snowblood
“People say you can’t wash away the mud of this world with pure white snow. You need asura snow - stained fiery red.”
Narrator, opening lines, Lady Snowblood
The large double doors swung open, closing slowly.
“Doc! Doc! Its just one fucking mental rock chick with a bat!”
“Move not unless you see an advantage. Sun Tsu.”
“What Doc?!”
He sighed but remained seated.
“You have guns and knives. Pathetic. Draw your weapon, train it on the door, you idiot.”
“Uhhh yeah sure thing doc. Right, yeah!”
He was shaking, he tried to hold the pistol steady.
Prof Tilburn was still kneeling, well trained to sit in this position for hours if needed, to move freely from it. The large industrial doors were closing very slowly and one stuck half open. He observed carefully.
The hallway behind was visible. Batgirl was hard at work. In the blacked out hallway. A small amount of red light and the flickering lights of torches and phones casting long shadows. Dancing shadows.
She was advancing down the hallway. Her vision was expanded by Cassandra.Cain() - like a movie set when the wide screen turns on - her peripheral vision now fully visible and fully conscious and another 20 degrees on top of that. She had “Eagle Vision” , the martial arts skill of seeing without looking, soaring the skies and perceiving all targets, not spot focus required.
She didn’t even look at her opponents, her targets, her fucking victims. They didn’t even fucking deserve it. She saw all and struck at will!
CJ sprung forward like a hunting cat, one strike with the reverse grip bat to a fleeing victims back, then pounced back and danced under a clumsy knife swing, spring stepping off the wall, rear leg fully extended, sissonne ouverte the ballet single leg jump, leading into a flying teng kong fei jiao, jumping front snap kick, straight to the throat. The victim fell, choking, gun clattered to the ground. No shot fired.
The bat was held in reverse grip in a single hand, half handed. She used it to counter a haymaker right, not even looking, then turned and spun, switching her grip mid spin and crack, kneecap strike. As he fell she did a full ballet leg lift, toes to the sky, held for one second, then brought a crashing and fucking heavy - heavy metal boot heavy - axe kick down on the next targets head. CRUNCH. Face to floor. Pausing for one second to curb him, pushing his face into the concrete floor with her boot on the back of his skull, pushing and rubbing hard, grinding the shattered teeth into the ground, slowly.
The whole time she looked forward, eyes on the professor. His eyes met hers. The electric blue of her cyber eye now changed to red. Blood red and blazing with fury.
The professor was grinning and glowing, eyes and body lighting up.
“Yes. Oh, wow. Beautiful. Exotic. Skillful. Hmmmmm, yes, and petite too. Ahhhh yes. Come to me, come to me my dancer. Come and play CJ.”
His eyes flickered over to his play bag. He managed an erection that was forming and returned to his breathing. To his posture and composure. Mind racing with fantasy, of what he could do to her when she was broken and tied.
“Fucking bitch! Die!”
The idiot next to him pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. Safety on.
She didn’t even need to rush, just strode over, strutting really.
By the time he had looked down, taken the gun in both hands to look at it, shaking hands had flicked the safety off and returned to firing pose, she was right next to him.
The bat connected before he even knew what happened. The gun scattered to the floor unfired.
Prof Tilburn was grinning manically.
“Oh this is just too much. Ahhhh, yes... Yes, what would the master say? あらゆるタイプの人々と戦い、彼らの心理を常に意識せよ。 Arayuru taipu no hitobito to tatakai, karera no shinri o tsuneni ishiki seyo. (Fight against all kinds of people and be aware of their mind). Musashi.”
CJ cracked her neck and carried on strutting forward. A pile of broken and groaning or limp bodies in the dark hallway behind her.
CJ spoke Japanese too of course. Slowly, carefully, not using the feminine forms, direct to the point.
“私はあなたを、あなたが本当にいるべき場所へお連れするために派遣されました。Watashi wa anata o, anata ga hontōni irubeki basho e o tsure suru tame ni haken sa remashita... (I’ve been sent to escort you to where you truly belong…)”
She strode on.
He remained still, one long exhale, hand moving to the his side.
Coming up on the toes but remaining kneeling.
Head suspended.
Core, hara, alive and ready.
She strode on.
The seven minute standoff
“To win any battle, you must fight as if you are already dead.”
Miyamoto Musashi
CJ paused, Cassandra.Cain() wasn’t giving her anything.
There were no leads, no triggers, no movement patterns, he was still just sitting, just kneeling, hands by his side, ready. Kate and CJ had trained Cassandra.Cain() on a combination of open source real fight databases used for training police androids and then on reams of mma and boxing fights, all datasets Dr Harper could get hold of from the robotics department at NYU. Not one of them thought to use classic samurai flicks it seems.
She took a long slow breath.
The sounds of groans from the fallen and clanking machinery echoed around the room, some parts of the mill were still moving, creaking and clattering. A huge steel press was spinning. There were sirens now as well. Somewhere, somewhere nearby she thought she heard crying, crying and shouting.
Children’s voices, they were close.
She took another long slow breath and circled around the front of her opponent.
Then paused again.
He was the first to speak.
“Oh dancer, are we scared all of a sudden?”
His eyes glowed from within, the monster finally free from it’s cage.
“It was sensei Funakoshi who famously said, 武道の究極の目的は, Budō no kyūkyoku no mokuteki wa, (The true aim of martial arts is not to use them) but I think you, like me, disagree don’t you dancer? The real aim is to use them, the real aim of kenjitsu is to kill, the real aim of hojōjutsu, is to tie, not to tie the willing but to tie the resistant…”
He smiled sickeningly as he mentioned the ropes. It made her skin crawl.
“それらは拷問と死の武器である Sorera wa gōmon to shi no bukidearu. (They are weapons of torture and death). You know don’t you? I saw your smile, the sadists smile. You are like me aren’t you dancer, you like it too…”
She cut him off.
“まだ色づいていないスケッチのようです. Mada irodzuite inai suketchi no yō desu. (Your Japanese is like a sketch that has not yet found its colors). Ah fuck it! This language to polite for you. It offends my fucking ears! You speak like the barking of a dog!”
And with that she sprung forward, then a sharp v step, off the front line, attacking at an angle. She came in hard and fast and took a singular massive swipe, full power and force. She put everything into it.
Just as he had planned.
He rolled forward and under the swing and stopped still then turned, the rolling kneeling pivot, shikko. She sprung back. He didn’t counter, but came slowly to standing and paused. Then lowered the bokken behind him, held down and to the side, waki-gamae, the hidden stance.
The ghost stance.
Still nothing, no readings, no movement, nothing for Cassandra.Cain() to work off.
CJ snarled and circled around him dancing and skipping, light and on her toes. Looking for an opening, a change, a space, something.
He simply turned in stance. Tracking her but nothing moving, not even the twitch of an eyebrow or ankle, the professor had mastered fudōshin, the motionless mind.
He gave nothing away.
She stopped again.
Another long deep breath.
Followed by his.
The machines creaked and cracked, men groaned and children wailed, sirens blazed.
Between the two warriors there was silence.
Another long pause.
She pounced again.
This time he was ready, she came in with a huge vertical swing and he L stepped perfectly off the line, the sword flickered fast and CJ reacted on instinct leaning back as if it was a punch, but no. The flicker disguised the low horizontal cut.
The target was the dancer’s ankle.
CRUNCH. Followed by something she had never felt before, SNAP.
The ankle gave way and she fell to the floor, dropping her bat. She didn’t scream, this was nothing compared to a fucking migrane, she gazed on, eye red, burning, eye still on target, the eyes of the warrior, the eyes of death.
He stepped back and withdrew the sword, now held high and confident, jōdan-no-kamae, the high stance. Ready to end this. To beat this pretty little dancer into submission. His eyes were wide and manic. He was ready, this was glorious, soon he would have her broken and tied. She would fight him every second this one, he could see her fire, the her inner light, he couldn’t wait.
He stepped forward and swung. Sharp, precise and fast, the clean downwards cut.
But she was gone.
Single leg backbend kickover got the dancer up onto her hands, then with a spinning twist of her legs, ankle popping and crunching as she did it, she pivoted onto a single arm and kicked, capoeira cartwheel kicked, her boot straight into the hand of the professor.
His thumb shattered and he dropped the bokken to the floor and he howled.
All the practice, all those cuts on training dummies, all those kata, all those drills, all those children he had beaten, abused and bullied, but the sadist had never once learned how to get hit.
“FUCK! AHHHHHHH!”
She rose slowly and picked up the bat and kicked off her boot revealing the wrecked ankle. CJ propped herself up on the bat like a cane.
She started towards him again. Limping forward. Dragging the ankle.
He turned and started to stumble back, scooping up a discarded pistol as he headed for a smaller side door.
Cursing and whimpering as he fled.
Nighthawks
“I represent the oppressed, the powerless of the world. I am their voice. I am a liberator.”
Wulfgar, Nighthawks (1981)
Kate was in Reece’s car, still with a laptop with seven windows open. One headphone in, listening to reports from her callbots, plus a police digital radio she just hacked into, whilst still talking to Reece, with one 1/7th of her remaining brainpower, switching between everything rapidly, still typing code as they went.
The callbots were working, maybe too well.
“How long? We have to hurry.”
Two NYPD cars, sirens wailing, shot past them. Then another three.
“Seven mins now, we are close. Shes in a fucking steel mill?”
“Yeah, chasing down a gang of paedophiles led by an academic ringleader based at NYU.”
“Ummmm Kate, did you start doing the weed and the ket?”
“NO! Ket what fuck is ket? She didn’t even, ahhh fuck, not now, anyway, she thinks she’s a superhero. We called it in Reece, no one listened, they are there now, nearly 10 kids, they are going to be moved. It was now or never.”
“Oh fucking hell Kate this is serious shit. Whoah…”
Reece swerved across a lane as another car hurtled past.
“Ok well the cops are coming now…”
Another five cars sped past, sirens wailing, plus a SWAT van. Reece paused.
“I mean, she kinda is though isn’t she? A superhero I mean. Batgirl, the Lioness, cage and streetfighter, polyglot, party girl from the streets turned project manager, cybergirl and all around badass. Kate, she’s the craziest most talented person I’ve ever seen, and I trained female boxers for 15 years. You know, if she gets through this, you got to know Kate, what you are signing up for yeah?”
“What?! Reece we…”
“Kate just listen yeah, put the laptop down. We get there, we get there yeah? The cops are coming. You can’t do anything else now…”
“What?! What is it Reece? She could be fucking dead?! She cut my feed! I can’t just do nothing. I, I…”
Reece cut her off.
“Kate, listen! I’ve trained girls like her for years, damaged girls, her hearts in the right place yeah, but you know, she’s not going to change Kate. You won’t fix her, yeah? That’s why they fight, they are fighting Dad or Mum or that weird uncle or the whole fucking world that fucked them. You got to accept that if you want her Kate. Accept the chaos.”
They pulled up round the back end of the mill, the old entrance, where CJ got in. The cops were all at the front, getting a cordon set up and waiting for the SWATs to get ready.
“Not now Reece. Not fucking now. Help me get in the chair.”
“OK Kate, sure thing.”
Judgement Day
“In an insane world, it was the sanest choice.”
Sarah Connor, Terminator 2 Judgement Day.
CJ’s ankle was smashed, she was limping, propped up on the bat. It clanged and clanked with every step.
Her single eye, still red, still burning with fury and flames, still trained on target. She dragged the ankle, exposed foot scraping the ground, blood on her beautiful toes, the ankle that had survived 10,000 hours of dance classes now ruined.
But, she didn’t fucking stop coming forward; relentless, unyielding, inevitable.
He was scared, good.
He was shaking, good.
He was going to fucking die, good.
She wasn’t stopping.
“You fucking psycho bitch! You have ruined everything!”
She smiled and said nothing. Slowly advancing forward. Red eye gleaming.
He picked up a bit of discarded coiled metal and smashed a glass window, leaning through and fumbling with the lock on the other side. The glass cutting up his arm. The master’s calm, the illusion of superiority and control, shattered like the glass.
“Fuck! Fuck!”
She was closing on him. He turned back again, all he could see was the eye.
The lock turned and clicked.
“Yes, ah! Ow, fuck! Yes!”
He opened the door, glass falling everywhere, cutting open his arm.
He ran down the corridor, she followed, bat tapping, ankle dragging.
He tried one door. Click and clatter.
He tried another. Nothing.
“I can give you money?!”
“I can’t be bargained with.”
“Property? Contacts?”
“I can’t be reasoned with.”
“Look, you punk bitch, kill me and every cop in the city comes after you.”
“I do not feel pity, or remorse, or fear!”
He spun around and pulled the discarded pistol. He had never used one before. He was shaking. A sadist finally getting a taste of his own medicine.
She lunged forward off one leg, almost a flying skip and superman punched him hard in the face and he tried to hold up the gun. He fumbled backwards, nose broken, blood streaming down his face. He paused in horror.
She grabbed the gun and they both fell to the floor.
CJ’s ankle cracked again and her face twisted in agony.
He saw and kicked her right in the injured ankle, years of training paying off, fighting with instinct finally.
She grunted but held on to the gun, cyber eye burning bright.
He grabbed her around the throat, but the thumb was wrecked, the grab was weak.
She leaned in close and whispered in his ear.
“And I absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead!”
And then bit down hard, The Lioness tore flesh and spat out a chunk of his ear.
He screamed and released the gun and his hold.
She threw the weapon aside, clattering down the hallway.
He crawled away, back towards the open factory floor. Holding his ear and whimpering.
She crawled after him. Red eye burning. Dragging the bat.
Relentless.
Unstoppable.
Inevitable.
The snap
“The hardest choices require the strongest wills.”
Thanos, Avengers: Infinity War
He was back in the main warehouse, first crawling, then scrambling up to standing, looking for a way out, anyway out, he heard the sirens, there was banging on the front door, the cops were here.
It was over. He looked around, glancing back nervously, panic setting in. Then, like the aftermath of a great wave, stillness returned. The stillness and certainty of the grave.
CJ rose again.
He looked at the machinery, the steel roller in front of him and smiled. The sadist wouldn’t go down without hurting her as much as he possibly could.
He climbed over the machine, passing the belt carefully.
Or so he thought.
She had rushed forward again, faster than he predicted. Her hands seized him like talons and dragged hard, pulling him back onto the belt. He kicked out, her ankle screamed and crunched again but she held him as he rolled around on the belt.
As he started down to the roller. Designed to flatten steel into sheets.
He started again and tried to rise. She elbowed him hard in the already broken nose. Then again to the body. He cried out in pain.
She snarled at him.
“You’re already dead, Tillman. Everybody dies. Accept it.”
His eyes flashed one last time as he silently and swiftly removed small concealed rope came from his chest pocket. Before she could react he had lashed it around her arm. The hojojutsu master was quick and precise. Tying them both together. Her right arm to his own.
Sealing their fates as one.
He glanced again at the roller, closing rapidly. She was dragged along with him, ankle splintering, barely able to balance on her single leg.
“Haul me off! You smug bitch. Now, if I go in, you go too!”
She held him down and punched him again in the face with the free arm.
Blood splattered all over both of them and he spat out his teeth.
“Pull me out! NOW!”
She glanced back at the hallway, heard the sirens and the groans and screams and held him down.
“You can’t be serious! You will die too! You can end this, you can stop this! This is crazy, you are crazy!!”
She took one last long breath as the roller closed in and smiled.
“No. I am inevitable.”
The first sound was a sickening snapping sound as the professor’s legs entered the roller. It started to pull all of him in, slowly. Then the crunching and grinding and more liquid like slurping sounds started.
He was screaming, eyes flashing around wildly, she locked her gaze with his and smiled on. For all those kids who never got revenge, who all those exploited and abused, for all those left whimpering and in fear, for all those left behind. She wanted to see him die.
His eyes stayed open as he passed, shaking horribly, from shock and trauma. She witnessed them to the end.
Then the snapping started again.
CJ’s arm was being crushed, she howled in agony.
“CASS!”
Kate wheeled into the room and immediately hit the red emergency stop button for the roller. It stopped slowly, painfully slowly, CJ was still being fed into it, all the way to the base of the shoulder.
Reece sprinted forward into the room towards CJ.
Suddenly one of the other guys CJ had dropped staggered up and lunged at her. Reece bobbed under his grab, popped up and smashed a downwards overhand, a downercut straight into the back of his skull. THUD. He was down again.
The SWAT team smashed in the front door.
Kate rolled over to CJ, she was whiter than her, like a ghost, the first time she had seen her like that, shaking, going into shock, blood everywhere.
They hugged.
“Kate. I did it Kate, no one else was coming Kate, are the kids?”
She tried to turn but then the pain, the waves of agony, from smashed flesh and splintering bone, it all hit her at once. She screamed again and nearly passed out. Her one human eye was glassy and seemed to lose focus.
“Cass your arm. Cass shhhh, stay still Cass. Look at me. Don’t look away, eyes on me my love yeah? You did it CJ, you did it babe, you are a superhero.”
Reece ran towards the cops waving.
“Help! Help! We have injured. They need help now!”
CJ smiled one last time, whole body shaking and then passed out.
The ambulance crew were already there, a specialised trauma crew was ready on scene.
They only needed one look to see what they had to do.
“Ok this is live people, prepare for prehospital amputation. Get everyone else clear.”
Kate and Reece were taken away, taken to the back of an ambulance. There were ten kids there, all safe, all free, all rescued first, all with ambulance staff and also a specialised child abuse support unit.
One of the kids, wrapped in a blanket, a small Filipino boy, with a birth defect on his right leg. He had crutches next to him, he was eating a snack. Then he started talking to Kate.
“Musta! They say the Batgirl saved us. Is it true? Do you know her? Is she a real superhero?”
Kate, crying and smiling said;
“Shes my girlfriend, and yeah, yeah she is. The only real one in the world I think, one in seven billion.”
Reece gave Kate a huge hug, they were both crying now.
They couldn’t see CJ as they hauled her out on a stretcher, medical team swarming around her, rushing her to ICU critical care.
The sirens and sobbing continued, filling the neon NYC night.
Shoulder disarticulation (with preservation of the humeral head)
“Man has, as it were, become a kind of prosthetic God. When he puts on all his auxiliary organs, he is truly magnificent.”
Sigmund Freud
[CJ’s procedure would be closest to B above with the preservation of some bone material and a temporary stabilizing prosthetic. Before further cyberisation can be attempted.]
Kate wheeled herself into the medical-surgical unit. They had finally taken CJ out of the ICU. Three blood transfusions, shock, sepsis, a secondary infection, then another follow up operation after the field amputation. She had been in there for over a week. Finally she was in a recovery unit, finally. They had her on heavy painkillers, opioid painkillers the whole time. Kate was worried, she had read the papers, there were so many moving parts, so many risks, but also, they knew what they were doing right? You have to trust people Kate, what did your Mum say, there are other Dr’s in the world apart from Dr Harper, you aren’t always right Kate. You don’t know everything. Why was it always so difficult with her? They had been fighting again. She, she would never accept CJ.
“KATE! I missed you so much, come and give me a cuddle!”
Kate was right back in the room, her dancer was grinning ear to ear, still a bit pale. No arm, they had taken it all the way to the shoulder joint nearly. There was a swollen stump with a bone shard left, held in a bag as fluids were still leaking out of it. A potential grafting point for the cybernetics, which well, she might as well tell her the good news.
“Hey Batgirl, look at this.”
She emailed CJ the article, straight to her eye.
Hero MMA fighter gives up arm to break pedophile ring wide open, saves vulnerable children.
Investigations continue as links were found to the NYC mayor and police force.
By Dominick De Luca June, 2061
Ten children rescued from sick abuse ring led by professor at NYU.
Cassandra “The Lioness” Jiao, retired women’s MMA fighter and now project manager first found hints of an academic peadophile network on Reddit. She followed up with her partner Senior Lecturer of Quantum Cryptography at NYU Dr Kate Harper who confirmed her partners hunt and found Child Sexual Abuse Material (CSAM) hosted on an NYU colleagues computer.
They did the right thing and informed the authorities. But, were ignored. Then they took the next step, a step none would usually dare to dream of, CJ went to save those kids herself.
Together they located the kids and hacked into their rental building software, allowing the Lioness to enter the building and single handedly take on the child trafficking gang. At the same time Dr Kate Harper created an army of call bots dialing in the active crime round the clock. Forcing the NYPD to act.
In the ensuing struggle the academic ringleader was killed and Cassandra Jiao’s arm was crushed in factory machinery. All ten children were rescued by NYPD and are now being returned to their families.
This team of women are heroes in the truest sense of the world. The Lioness put her own life on the line when no one else would help those kids, when our own institutions had failed to protect them the Lioness went out to find those lost cubs.
She nearly paid the ultimate price. She is still touch and go in critical care. Her partner Dr Harper has launched a gofundme page to help pay for the many surgeries and also to fund a cybernetic replacement limb.
Dr Harper had this to say: “She always read comics and manga, she is my manga girl and real life superhero. I tried to stop her, but she knew no one else was going to save those kids. She doesn’t have much, she has had a hard life, but she has the heart of a lioness. Please consider donating to help repair her arm. She lost it saving those kids. Thank you.”
A real life homegrown NYC superhero, the New York Times has already donated $2000 to start this pledge and we call on all New Yorker’s to step up and support her.
We didn’t get Peter Parker, we didn’t get Spiderman. We got Cassandra “The Lioness” Jiao our very own homegrown hero.
She needs our help folks.
CJ’s eyes went even wider and the grin somehow stretched just a little bit more. Ah that smile, Kate had missed that smile so much.
“Oh La! Kate! ‘We didn’t get Peter Parker, we didn’t get Spiderman. We got Cassandra “The Lioness” Jiao our very own homegrown hero.’ that’s the coolest thing ever!”
“And the fund for your arm babe…”
Kate looked over at the weeping stump suspended in a bag, tied up and held in place. Exposed bone shard cutting out like a jagged cliff edge.
“Yeah?”
“$100,000 and counting.”
“No…”
CJ started to cry.
“I don’t believe it.”
“You thought no one would buy you a laptop. New York just bought you an arm babe.”
“Really?”
“Yes, yes! And we can get your insurance to cover some stuff, I called your work and they will give you all the time and support you need too. We are going to make it happen. What was it again, ‘We have the technology, we can fix her?’”
“We can rebuild her, yeah close enough Kate. Close enough lovely. I don’t know what to say. I still don’t believe it.”
They had a huge cuddle and a cry together. Sobbing in each others arms for five minutes.
“Kate, umm, can’t they fix your legs too? We can be sexy cyber girls together yeah? And you can come dance with me again. Even if you hate it? Yeah. We can use some of the money to help…”
CJ smiled and started laying out the new project plan. Kate interrupted her.
“Ummm, CJ, because it’s nerve death and progressive. They, they can’t do it. They need the nerves healthy for them to attach things into. They still don’t understand the virus that’s doing it, or if I even still have it. It’s OK, yeah, I’ve accepted it babe, but you, this is why they built this stuff, to give war heroes…”
“And superheros!”
“Yeah, and superheroes, their lives back.”
“Oh Kate, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”
“It’s OK babe, lets just focus on you yeah.”
CJ went to scratch her arm. The one that wasn’t there and her face contorted in pain. Kate smiled at her knowingly, a sad and knowing smile.
“It’s not just an itch is it?”
“No its so weird, its like its there one moment and then painful the next. You know don’t you Kate? You understand.”
“Sometimes it’s fire.”
“Other times ice.”
“Crawling and burning.”
“Cramping and twitching.” CJ tried to laugh, but then contorted in agony, she couldn’t move as much as she thought. “Oh we are a fucking mess aren’t we?”
“My beautiful hot mess Cass.”
They had a huge kiss. CJ shuddered and kissed Kate like a maniac and without her seeing, hit the button for her hydromorphone again. She had been mashing it non stop since she woke up.
She stared back at Kate, eyes a little glassy from the pain meds. Smile hungry, The Lioness was famished and dripping wet with anticipation.
“Pull the curtain doll.”
“CJ really? It’s kinda public...”
“It wasn’t a question. I said do it, now.”
Kate looked around nervously, oh OK, sure what the hell, she needs this.
“Yes ma’am.”
Out of the steel mill, into the...
“Upper-limb amputation negatively impacts people’s quality of life because replicating the hand anatomy and its multiple functions is complex. This difficulty has caused prosthesis rejection rates to be as high as 50%, mainly due to a lack of function, comfort, and control.”
Upper-limb prosthetic requirements from the healthcare providers, end-users and relatives’ perspectives (2026) Journal of Hand Therapy
[Bionic Tilly showing off her Open Bionics arms. Tilly survived meningococcal septicemia at 15 months but had both hands amputated. She has helped model and develop the first range of designer cybernetics.]
I ain’t got time to bleed
“TB-500 promotes endothelial cell differentiation, angiogenesis in dermal tissues, keratinocyte migration, collagen deposition and can decrease inflammation.”
Research report on the peptide TB-500, a research chemical, licensed for veterinary use, and is not approved by the FDA for humans.
“So great news Cassandra…”
“You can call me CJ doc.”
A nurse scurried out of the room as they were chatting away. She had just taken another round of bloods from CJ, lots of things they needed to check on. Some things that didn’t quite make sense.
“Ok great news CJ, we can start right away with your rehab and cybernetic physio. Everything is in order and funding has cleared. Plus the surgical team tells me, it has all gone great with the TMR (Targeted Muscle Reinnervation) and bone augmentation. Your attachment point is ready to go for rehab cybernetics and then you can start shopping for your dream arm.”
“Awesome, I can’t wait. This girl does love a good shopping trip!”
CJ was already pouring over a magazine of all the arms. There were so many choices, more than she thought, different price ranges and specs too. She flicked past a tentacle arm. Oh my god, a tentacle arm. Kate wasn’t into that, the hentai chat had not gone well, am I into that?! She folded the corner of the page, come back to that later, and kept browsing.
[Limb Project makes avant garde prosthetics and yes, they have at least one tentacle arm…]
“Oooh silver on black, nice. Oh you can get custom engraving. SOLD!”
“And the great news is because you already have an active BIC (Brain Computer Interface)...”
“Cos I have my eye on you doc.”
“Yes exactly. We can use some of the more advanced rehab methods. NeuroSim will let you use the rehab limb in a VR environment so the feedback is spot on, it has been shown to reduce the rejection rates and lower phantom limb syndrome.”
“That’s awesome, yes that is not fun, I’m still getting that quite bad doc. Lets do it, I love VR and AR stuff, know what I am doing too, lets do it! I cant wait.”
“Everything looks good to go and we got great feedback from our surgical team. The thickest tendons they have ever seen on a woman apparently. You were a fighter at some point right? The attachment point is rock solid, you will be back in the cages in no time CJ.”
“Ah well what can I say, I stay in shape and eat my veggies doc.”
“Indeed. We will also start to lower your pain medication does and take you over to non prescription anti inflammatories for pain going forward.”
“Uh huh…”
CJ already had her own, “pain management plan” in mind, she would take those suggestions, “under advisement”, she had decided. Thanks but no thanks doc.
“They have been telling me you have been getting some side effects from Prednisone so we will be shifting you onto Everolimus as your long term anti rejection drug. Your immune system isn’t being suppressed as much as we would expect either, so we might need to play with the dosages a bit.”
“Yeah my feet swelled up, gross. Not a fan of that doc. Plus eating has been a bit hard, feel full and gassy all the time.”
“Yeah those are actually quite common side effects from that class of corticosteroids. But overall your rate of healing, particularly ligament and tendon healing has been incredible. Top 99th percentile, miraculous really.”
CJ had been getting BPC-157 and TB-500 delivered to her, they would drone drop them right through the hospital window. These peptides were now finally in human clinical trials but the Lioness didn’t have time for that shit. She wanted to be up and running now. Not considering of course that they were directly interacting and interfering with her anti rejection steroids. She had her foot on the gas and the break at the same time. A lot of noise and not good for the engine. But CJ could always handle her shit, right?
“Well I’m a superhero, right doc?”
“Yeah I suppose you are. And I just want to say thank you. My wife is from the Philippines. She was telling me there are these contracts they offer to kids for dancing and singing and then they get them away from their parents. Just like the thing you burst open. She said it had been going on for years in Japan and the USA. You shined a light on that CJ. She had friends of family loose their kids to that, vanished for years, they never came back the same. Thank you.”
“I just couldn’t sit there and do nothing doc. That’s not how I am built. If it was me, I would want someone to come. I had to do it.”
“Most people don’t think like that CJ, they just want a quiet life. Not my problem. Let it go. Get on with my own things. That’s why we developed all this technology CJ, that’s why I got into this field, to help people like you. Heroes, to get back on their feet.”
“Or back to swinging a bat, thanks doc. It means a lot to hear you say that.”
“OK I just got a message from the rehab team, two cybernetics experts and our head physio. They can’t wait to meet you CJ, they are on their way up now.”
“Send em in doc!” She stopped and held up an arm from the catalogue for him to see, “Oh man look at this one. Tilly Lockey, they have brands! Nice! Black/pink, hmmm not much of pink girl, pass…”
[Bionic Tilly modelling her “Hero Arms” range. These are designed to look like the ones from Alita: Battle Angel]
Through the looking glass
“For they flee the light; the darkness soothes their disease.”
Aretaeus of Cappadocia (2nd Century AD) writing on migraines.
[Oxycodone is a strong, addictive, prescription-only opioid analgesic used to treat moderate to severe pain.]
It was the third one this week.
Kate hated seeing her like this. The arm was discarded again. She had missed another physio appointment. But she couldn’t go to them like this, she couldn’t do anything. Sometimes she vomited from the pain. They had to take her back into hospital last week, 72 hours of agony; IV painkillers, steroids and antinflammatories finally stopped it.
Kate wished the wheelchair could be quieter. That she could do something to help. She had all the lights turned off in the flat. All her mac minis powered down and only one screen on. She didn’t want to disturb her at all. But she wanted to check on her too. There hadn’t been any groans for a while.
Kate wheeled herself in as slowly and as quietly as she could. She had a fresh wet towel if CJ needed it.
CJ was splayed out on the bed. Every limb, every remaining limb, separate from every other. Lying like a corpse. Eyes closed. She didn’t react when Kate opened the door. She would normally twitch or groan. There hadn’t been any groans for a while.
In between the phantom limb pain and the siege migraines CJ was struggling. She was behind on the rehab, things were not going as they should. She barely used the prosthetic, barely left her room either.
Kate wheeled over and went to change the towel. It had fallen from her brow and she hadn’t retrieved it.
Then she saw the box of pills. It was nearly empty. She picked it up.
Oxycodone. No, that’s not right they said they were phasing her drugs down, taking her onto a new experimental class of anti migraine drug. No, CJ, you haven’t been? Fuck.
Kate looked at her again, her skin was cold and calmly to touch, she was breathing weird too. Kate whipped out her phone and did a search. Fuck. Fuck. It looks like an opioid overdose.
She paused. Is it? If I shake her she will be in agony. Ah, I have to know.
She gently shook CJ. No response. Then harder.
“Hey fuck off babe, what time is it? I’ve got a migraine, yeah, leave me, huh? We, ummm, talked about this, your hair is pretty…”
CJ was glassy eyed with her one human eye had tiny almost pinpoint pupils, she flopped back on the bed.
“CJ! CJ! How many did you take? CJ!”
“Ah just a few yeah, to ummmm, it’s cool yeah Kate, you wanna cuddle yeah, come ummm, you know to take the edge off yeah. It’s cool, I can handle my shit, yeah…”
Kate dialled 911 right away.
“Hi my partner, I think she has overdosed on her pain medication. Yes, oxycodone yes. I can stay on the line…”
Mr Creampuff walked into the room. Meowed once, then jumped up into Kate’s lap. He liked the wheelchair, he liked Kate, she always had a lap for him now.
CJ twitched once and was breathing really fast and shallow.
Pachinko parlour
“I look out of the window. Mount Fuji is shrouded in darkness now. The city has become no more than a leaden mass, lifeless. Lines are starting to blur inside the apartment too. I feel as though I can hardly move. Without the view from the window, it would be unbearable. You’d suffocate”
Elisa Shua Dusapin, The Pachinko Parlour
[1975 Nishijin Pachinko Machine known as 5 Bells, lovingly restored by Pachinko Restorations.]
It was loud and hot and busy. It was where CJ wanted to be. LCD screens were blazing, but here in Chinatown Fair Family Fun Centre, they had a few of the original machines, the old analogue ones with just pins and lights and noise. They don’t let you smoke inside though, not like in Japan. That would be perfect.
She had been there four hours already. She just kept playing the machines over and over. She could just stay here forever. Where life is simple, simple and fun.
Sometimes thoughts would come. More words than thoughts. Cassandra Jiao had a lot of ways to stop the thoughts.
“CJ you can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep doing this.”
The clanging and clattering of a thousand metal balls drowned it out. Everything cleaned away, tidy and neat. Packed up into a noisy metal box.
“When are you going to go back to work?”
Another jackpot sequence, more balls flying, the J-pop techno remix blasting. Louder and faster. Even the tingling crawling feeling was gone. Gone like her arm. Just sounds and noises now.
“No, I don’t want to CJ. I am not in the mood. You have physio today CJ. Please go, please.”
There was a crowd gathering. She was crushing it. Mega jackpot. The metal hand and eye blasting through human barriers, timing perfect, brain locked on, no thoughts, nothing. She kept going. Faster and faster, more balls, more noise, louder music.
“Talk to me CJ? Tell me the truth, how much have you been taking? Is there anything else? I can’t help you unless you tell me.”
CJ didn’t lie, she wasn’t a liar, she just didn’t answer and walked away from Kate. A shrug and the thoughts were gone. As long as she had her games, if she could just stay here forever, like when she was a kid, then she could be happy. This was always where she went. When there was fighting, shouting, throwing things. The lights and noises drowned it all out.
“That’s all you think about! All you care about. I don’t want to talk about fucking sex anymore CJ!”
She had a tonne of vouchers, reams of them. More and more pouring out of the machine. People were cheering. Fuck, she wanted a cigarette. Tubo jackpot, she rolled it over and kept going. More people gathered round as more balls fell.
“Talk to me! CJ! You are going to fucking die! I cant watch you kill yourself anymore.”
Fuck this. She just dropped everything and turned away. Ready to get a smoke. Everyone groaned and started to walk away. Then someone tapped her on the shoulder, very meekly.
It was the nice boy, the pretty and rich Hong Kong boy, from the office.
“Wow, that was incredible. I only got like 4 vouchers. 你好正! (nei5 hou2 zing3! You are so awesome/cool!)”
She smiled and shrugged and waved her hands deflecting the compliment. Suddenly the Canto cool girl was here, one of the many moving parts of Cassandra Jiao.
“好彩咋 (Hou2 coi2 zaa3, Just lucky).”
“No you were, you are incredible CJ. Ummm, I heard about the accident, I am sorry about your arm. We all missed you at the office. It, it’s not the same without you. We all can’t wait to see you again. 你令到公司好玩好多. (nei5 ling6 dou3 gung1 si1 hou2 waan4*2 hou2 do1, You make the office so fun.)”
She smiled at him again. Thoughts about Kate gone, all thoughts gone.
She nodded her head once to gesture at the restaurant across the way, a Cantonese duck and rice place, diner style.
“呢間餐廳好似幾好，我帶你去。(Jyutni1 gaan1 caan1 teng1 hou2 ci5 gei2 hou2, ngo5 daai3 nei5 heoi3 This restaurant looks pretty good, I’m taking you.)”
His jaw hit the floor first, he didn’t believe it, then he scooped up all her tickets and scampered after her, if he had a tail it would be whisking side to side. She walked ahead of him, lighting a cigarette as she went.
Party girl
“I would like a nice, powerful, mind-altering substance. Preferably one that will make my unborn children grow gills.”
Mary, Party Girl (1995)
She had ditched rich nice boy now. Well he had stayed for one drink, then two, then three, but he had work tomorrow. You could tell how much he wanted to stay, she missed being worshipped. Not her style for boys, she liked the ones, well the ones that knew what they want and how to take it, he is cute though. She had dropped a couple of Oxys in the bar, that was just the warmup.
Now, the fun was getting started. The old school hip hop was playing in her ear. CJify() was tuned in and she was getting ready. Another face, another life, another style, she started nodding her head to the beat, the party girl was prowlin tonight.
She didnt feel like payin today just playin. Bembe in Brooklyn was the destination, fucking 2050 and cash only, drugs only more like. The decision had already been made, not somewhere conscious, no thoughts observed, but the needs were unmet, she had already set herself on the path of destruction. The big fucking brutal black path.
She dropped half an e, the boys were buyin, she knew where it was going, she grinned and started griding up between both of them, she could feel them both, she wanted to get fucked. Totally, pinned down, choked, slapped and fucked. These two would do, for a start anyway. Once the e kicked she would just keep goin, once she was rollin, with the right mix and the right vibe a very different lioness was born. She wanted fucking men, not boys, not fucking whiny frigid white bitches, someone who fucking wanted her. Someone addicted to her, insane and insatiable for her. Someone who would shut up, put up and fuck her. It had been too long. She needed this.
She started kissing one as the other continued to grind up against her. The first guy grabbed her throat. YES. YES. This is it. She shuddered and sighed as the cocktail of serotonin and dopamine blasted her brain. She started stroking his cock. YES. Give it to me. FUCK ME.
No thoughts, just pleasure, a huge grin in the darkness.
The Cheshire cat, lost in wonderland again.
After party parlour
“The stereotypical chemsex flat is like a really nice new-build, but with little personality besides a few framed pictures on the walls,” Andrew
“I thought it was going to be totally debauched and that was the thrill, to be honest. Instead it turned out to be some guy’s flat in Streatham. It took me ages to get there.” Sebastian
GQ interviews on chemsex
They all looked the same, the flats, the party flats, nothing in them. Just holding pens for addicts with empty lives. Two other girls were here, she was the star though, one was maybe paid she only look half involved and was checking her phone, the other was a snowbunny stopping every 30 seconds to hit another line, the guy just kept fucking her, she didn’t even seem to notice, just buried her face in white again, she looked bored.
So CJ was the star tonight, every eye on her, every dick hard, every cumshot hers, every fantasy was all CJ. Their freeuse cyber slut. Just what she wanted.
She waltzed and danced to the bedroom, eyed glazed, lights bright and haloing, everything floating and fuzzy, every touch ecstasy, every cock and kiss the best ever, never wanting it to end. The adult pachinko parlour turned up to 11, all noises and sensations and sounds, everything as big and as hard and rough and as loud as possible.
“You, yes and you, and your friend yes. Come on boys, no I don’t want fucking boys, I want men. I want you all. Come and fuck me, rough. I’m your Asian cyberdoll tonight guys, fucking use me, break me.”
She smiled and pretended to glitch then stuck out her tongue and rolled her eyes. The hentai face. They all lost their fucking minds.
One grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder, another slapping her ass hard and howling as they carried her into the bedroom and threw her on the bed. Her head was still spinning as the first dick pushed into her, totally raw.
She started gushing almost straight away and let her eyes roll back in her head and shuddered, everything melting into oblivion.
Beautiful hot mess
“It’s about craving the version of yourself that only exists when you’re wanted.”
Eleni, Reddit forum for female sex addicts.
She was passed out again, the flat stank of weed and cigarettes. Kate didn’t want to check on her. But did it anyway, what was that other smell, something weird, has she been cleaning, like bleach or something. She rolled in and Mr Creampuff meowed and jumped up onto Kate’s lap, he was always there for her. He loved the wheelchair at least. Someone had to.
She touched CJ’s face, it was sticky and crusty, in her hair too, there was lots of it, then it hit Kate. He stomach churned and she thought she would be sick, her head was spinning. No. No. No. No. No. No. Dr Harper was stuck in a loop. She snapped out of it.
DISGUSTING. FUCKING DISGUSTING. THIS IS CUM. THIS IS…
YOU FUCKING CHEATED ON ME!
Kate spoke loudly and firmly. Rage boiling. Dr Harper ran her command line code and executed the control function.
“Get out.”
“What? Hey Kate, huh?”
“You heard me, I said get out.”
“Wait no, what?”
“Get the fuck out!”
Then CJ froze up. Tears streamed down her right cheek.
“You said, you promised, you promised me! You said I was safe, I never had to go. Just like everyone else! Fine! I’m gone, BABE! Come on pspspsps. Come on Mr Creampuff, come with mummy.”
Mr Creampuff did not move from Kate’s lap. He just stared at CJ, mirroring Kate perfectly.
“Ok fine, you too fine, fuckoff both of you, I don’t need this. I, I will be back for my stuff.”
“You can find it on the streets, where it belongs.”
“FRIGID CUNT!”
CJ stomped off and slammed the door.
As soon as the door was shut Dr Harper’s code crashed and she experienced a catastrophic system failure. Kate broke down completely sobbing wildly and shaking, Mr Creampuff stayed with her and gave her big sympathy purrs. He wasn’t going anywhere.
A caged Lioness
“The soul was not designed for the cage. The lioness was made to move with effortless grace of the wind, its path unblocked.”
She was too drunk and high to bat. They dropped her off out the car. She was kissing them and they were groping her as she fell out onto the street. She knew one of their names, maybe, or was that the guys from the night before? She lost track of time. All the parties blended into each other anyway.
She stumbled off into the cages. Didn’t even make it in before she fell down in a heap.
She slid down to the floor and her arm glitched, a spasm like uncontrolled movement, just for a second, she hated them, they reminded her how broken she was. She pressed a few buttons and changed some settings, slowly the arm unscrewed from the shoulder connection. It was aching and burning again.
She sat outside the cage sobbing. Crying and cuddling her own detached arm. She felt the cum leak out of her as she shifted her position. There had been another party, another couch, another sex club, another play session or five.
She had 10 missed calls from Kate. She deleted the log. She burped, she could still taste dicks, taste the cum in her gut, she wanted to throw up.
The sobbing continued. The aching burning pain in her shoulder and the phantom limb, the tingling invisible crawling feelings in her missing arm was still there too.
No thoughts still.
Just pain and emptiness and nausea. Then a familiar voice.
“Hey ummm CJ you OK?”
“Oh nice boy, hey?”
“You need a lift or something?”
She got up and ran over, nearly stumbled and kissed him hard. Ran her hand round his neck and head and touched him all over.
He kissed her back hard. Frantically, wildly, like a frenzied dream. Like everything he ever wanted coming true all at once. Like this moment would never end. He didn’t see the other mens semen running down her inner thigh.
“You came to save me, to be my good boy and look after me. Right?”
“Yes! CJ yes, tian na! (Oh heavens!) Yes kiss me you gorgeous goddess, kiss me.”
“Take me back to yours and fuck me. I’m your new toy, use me, your baddie waifu, yeah? Just like you always wanted. Everything you ever dreamed of right?”
He just grinned and nodded. Still in shock. She looked around and started making pspspsps noises, then stopped.
“Oh hang on my cat, umm Mr Creampuff has to come too. Oh unmmm, yeah sorry never mind.”
“Oh I love cats.” He gave her a playful lick on the cheek, which was weird, cute and not very manly. She didn’t care, the project manager needed her new plan, she needed to get herself clean, she needed this good boy. “I grew up with cats. Come and meet my little guy.”
“Yeah. OK sure, sounds good.”
Then her stomach rumbled loudly and she thought she would be sick all over him for a moment. She just about held it together.
“Maybe food first?”
“Sure what do you want?”
“Lasagna? That would be awesome.”
Epilogue: Book launch
“You didn’t just cheat on me; you cheated on us. You didn't just break my heart; you broke our future."
Steve Maraboli
It was a huge brick ex warehouse, tall ceiling and wide open spaces.
Ian helped Wheel Kate across the large open central floor of Pioneer Works in Brooklyn, past the art installations, all the way to the end where they had a bookstand and table set up. It was busy too. There was a small line already. The Quantum Crisis billboards and books were all set up and ready to go.
“Oh man, Cap, I didn’t expect it to be so big?”
“Yeah.” Kate looked at one of the exhibitions, UV art from a cyber artist. She sighed and lost her train of thought, it happened a lot these days, even more than before.
Her publisher, a tall Australian lady pushed past people and strode up to Kate full of enthusiasm and energy.
“Gday Dr Harper! And what a day mate! Pre-sales are huge, I have ordered more stock, we have three more launch events booked for our superhero quantum scientist.”
“Hey Charlotte look I told you I don’t want to be called that, yeah?”
Charlotte just pressed on.
“And, Kate babe, I just got off the phone with Dr Xi’s assistant, RPI wants you to do a quantum panel with her at their next AGI conference, plus we push the book there too.”
Ian’s mouth hit the floor. He would ask to come along later. You know, for moral support.
Kate just zoned out, letting it flow over her, it was so noisy, some of them were waving at her, why was this happening? She just wanted to be alone, for them to read her book and leave her be, why are they all so loud? Why are they so excited? Her paper, her book, the proof that no one wanted to believe, all security was going to be dead in a few years time. Inevitable. And, if it gets linked up with quantum agential AI, it would be even faster. It was a death race that she had pointed the US, China and Oceania to. A Battle Royale that she had fired the starting gun for.
She paused again, they watched that together, her nerducation, CJ style. Sigh. I miss her so much, and I hate her and I miss her. Why couldn’t she be happy with me? Why did I have to keep nagging her? Why did I always have to be right? Why couldn’t I just give her space and love like she did for me when I was down. Why do you do this to everyone you care about Kate? Mom too. She wanted to curl up into a ball, but the legs wouldn’t even let her do that now. Do anything.
Charlotte was still talking, mostly to herself it seemed.
“Anyway, you crack on mate yeah? Got to go! Oceania publishers Kate yeah? A big deal if we land this. Got to take it. Have fun!”
Ian had noticed Kate was lost in her own world.
“Hey, Dr Harper, you ok?”
“No Ian, I’m not Ok.”
“Missing her still, yeah? I remember seeing you coming into the lab and just staring at her pics all day. Was so cute, I’m sorry Cap, I only had like one GF ever and I still think about her all the time. You want that hug? It is still on offer, yeah? No expiration date.”
“Thanks Ian, yeah, I think so dude.”
Kate let out a huge sigh. It was the first time she had touched anyone other than a handshake since CJ was gone. She held it together just about.
“Ok thanks Ian, that was nice. Looking forward to working with you on your PhD yeah? You earned it.”
She turned around and looked out at the crowd.
“Why are some of them dressed up?”
“Ah its comicon today as well Cap. So a few of them will be bouncing off there after this.”
Kate sighed, great, more superhero shit to remind me of her.
“Ok lets get this thing going shall we?”
The first girl in the queue, and she was younger than Kate, maybe early 20’s, was bouncing up and down on her toes and dressed up in a full superhero getup. She had East Asian features, long silky dark hair and was in cosplay killer shape, tall with slight ab tone on display through the revealing gap in the front of the costume, the purple pointed mask finished it all off. She had a copy of Kate’s book already read and bookmarked with about 50 post it notes. Kate was too lost in her own world to notice.
“Oh my gosh Dr Harper I am such a huge fan.”
“Yeah, I can see you have the book already.”
“Oh can I get two more please signed and can you sign this one too?”
“Yeah sure.”
“I loved your last paper too. Honestly, I don’t think you take it far enough, I think your limited proof showing how the concavity of entropy relates to quantum systems can be generalised using Leishman fractal topologies. I had a few ideas actually, I don’t know if you saw, I sent them through with my application, did you get it?”
“Oh wait, you are one of the PhD program candidates.”
Kate stopped and looked at her properly for the first time, and really looked at her. Holy shit, she was stunning, fuck! Boundaries Kate. She really shouldn’t be talking to her outside the interview process. Dr Harper ignored the warning prompt and leaned forward in her chair, one eyebrow raised.
“You know I really shouldn’t be talking to you outside of the interview process. Very inappropriate.”
“Oh I know, that’s why I came in disguise Dr, or should I say Oracle?”
The young costumed adventurer winked back. Kate finished signing the books and coughed a little bit, blushing slightly.
“Here you go, your name?”
“You can call me Huntress.” She winked and danced off, stiletto boots clacking, hips swaying, long hair swishing. Ian was grinning ear to ear and waited a moment before bursting out.
“You have to hire her!!!!”
“Ian! Not appropriate.” Kate rolled her eyes but also couldn’t keep them off the view as she walked away. “Next please.”
All of a sudden there was a murmur. Everyone started checking their phones. There were shouts and cries next. Kate looked up at Ian.
“What happened?”
Ian was staring at his phone and shaking.
“6th Infantry Regiment, part of the 1st Texan armoured division and the 3rd Cavalry “The Brave Rifiles” they just joined the truckers protest. It’s a civil war. It’s the second American Civil war Cap.”
Kate glanced down at her phone, but stopped straight away. There was an email. She put the phone down on the table face down. But, she had already seen it. Seen it and the first line. Burned into her mind instantly.
“Re. I am sorry.
You deserve better…”
The email of the addict. Her broken dreams. Her neon dancer.
Characters and connections
Thank you for reading this story. As a bisexual man in recovery some of the themes presented here including drug use and its impact on our sexuality are close to my heart.
CJ is one of the central characters in The Three Moons Mythos 🌙🌙🌙.
Her main story is Connection.
She also has another standalone tale where she hacks Palantir called Changes.
She shows up to check in on her friend Amanda in a couple of her stories; Sapphire, The woman in the red dress and makes a little cameo tearing up the dance floor in Bliss.
Dr Kate Harper also appears in a short story where she gives a talk at conference on Quantum AGI.
Both CJ and Kate feature in my debut novel; “A queen of light and shadow”.
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So the work will not sit behind a paywall.
If you feel like supporting me (and supporting Jesus Santana, you will mostly be buying him coffee) then please leave a small donation here.
There has been so much love, care and obsession poured into this work. It kept me sane and sober and Jesus Santana has contributed so much of his time and effort as well.
This is not just a series of stories to me. This is the building of a mythos in the great tradition of HP Lovecraft.
Please, even a small amount would be greatly appreciated.
If you can’t at this time I do understand, your comments, your likes and your shares also mean so much to me and Jesus.
